[Rybinsk] Тот день, когда (Nastya)

6th October 2003

It was Monday again and already the 6th of October. The poisoning had happened five weeks and a day ago and Aglaya felt like there was no hope anymore that she'd ever get back to normal. She was weak, needed to take dreamless sleep potion whenever she wanted to sleep and she felt scared, useless, hopeless. Her stomach was still quite sensitive and, therefore, her mother brought her special food that looked like mash and barely had any taste at all. Alyona put some spoonfuls of strengthening solution in and hoped that it would be helpful and nutritious enough. She had given up trying to make Aglaya eat proper food for the time being as it hadn't gone too well over the past few weeks. Aglaya ate the mash reluctantly but she usually ate at least half of it anyway.

It had been four days ago that her mother had announced that her sister was feeling unwell and wouldn't come to visit her for a while. Aglaya wasn't sure what to make of that. Sure, she had noticed that Nastya wasn't really at her best, but what did it mean that she was 'unwell'? When Aglaya had used the term herself to stop her sister from summoning their mother after her splinching incident ten days ago, it had meant that their mother couldn't deal with her anymore and had a breakdown. Was that what Alyona was not telling her now? Did Nastya feel unable to endure her company anymore? Did her sister maybe ask their mother to excuse her because she simply didn't want to see her? Of course, Nastya should be allowed to live her own life and not get caught up in the drama that surrounded her but it still hurt. Aglaya had got rather used to her sister being there. Maybe their mother had even recommended that she should stay away. It would come as no surprise if Alyona did such a thing. The more days passed the more the thought that her family wanted to stay away from her manifested itself and the more Aglaya talked herself into believing that she totally deserved being abandoned.

Aglaya felt desperate and in her frustration with her own weakness and the fact that she was mostly left to herself, haunted by dark thoughts, she had kept harming herself. Her arm, which she had splinched ten days ago and which never got properly fixed, was by now swollen, the bandage stuck to the weeping wound. It was painful even when she did not touch it or move it at all. When she had seen her mother the previous evening she had actually been tempted to show it to her because she was aware that it got worse every day. However, Alyona had not really paid her a lot of attention that day. She had only left the mash for her for the next day, administered the dreamless sleep potion and had not even asked her how she was doing. In fact, her mother seemed to be in a hurry to get away. Since Aglaya didn't feel like getting yelled at again, she had remained quiet, thinking that Alyona would probably get terribly mad at her, that the injury was not quite so bad, after all, and that she deserved to suffer anyway.

Even though it was the middle of the day now it was still pretty dark outside. Heavy clouds shielded Rybinsk successfully from any sunlight and the wind wailed loudly. Aglaya didn't know what to do with herself. She did not enjoy reading these days, did not like to do anything, really. Her stalker, his letter, her current state, her family abandoning her, these were things she could not get out of her mind. She couldn't think about anything else. She didn't feel up to going out and, although she had tried it ten days ago, she understood that flying wasn't an option either and likely wouldn't be for a while. The fact that she couldn't do the one thing she loved, was probably the worst realisation ever. Flying had been what had made her life worth living and now? She was nobody when she couldn't be an artistic flyer. No wonder that her family abandoned her – she was so useless and worthless now.

Aglaya had been sitting in her bed for a while, staring at the wall before she had forced herself up. She changed from her flannel pyjamas into jogging pants and a sweater, even tried to brush her hair but it was so tangled from the lack of care that she did not get very far before giving up. She dropped the brush on the bed and decided to go downstairs. Somehow she always felt uneasy and her heart was beating faster when she left her bedroom. It was as though she expected her stalker to wait there for her but she knew that couldn't be the case. Her home was secure. Yet, she didn't feel safe. She walked into the living room, closing the door behind her and leaning against it for a while. Taking a deep breath, Aglaya stepped further into the room. and stared at the beam and the barre. Maybe she could just try some simple moves... Tentatively the reigning artistic flying champion made her way to the low beam and stepped on it. She tried a simple sequence but as she lifted her right arm she felt pain and dizziness overcome her and she stumbled off the beam. She only managed to prevent herself from falling on the ground by grabbing the barre and, for the first time in weeks, she was facing her own reflection.

Shocked by what she saw she took a step backwards. Staring at her pale face with its sad eyes. While it shouldn't surprise her after the weeks during which she had mostly been in bed, not eating properly and not doing any sports, she looked thin and her usually good posture seemed to have disappeared, making her look like a haggard pitiful woman rather than like the healthy athlete she had been not too long ago. Aglaya didn't want to see herself like that. She didn't want to be the person she saw in the mirror.

She raised a fist to punch her reflection into its pale face but except for a slight tremble of the mirror nothing happened, nothing changed. Aglaya was breathing harder now, her heartbeat quickened as she realised that this was her reality now. She turned around, but she could still feel the presence of her mirror image. The girl's gaze rested on a silver candle holder. She found herself grabbing it and approaching the mirror again. She tossed the candle holder at her reflection, watched it collide with the mirror, heard the sound of cracking glass. The wall-sized mirror was still there, but her reflection had a hole on the level of her chest now where some shards had broken out of it and there were some long cracks as well. She picked up the candle holder from the floor and hit the mirror with it again, tears now watering her eyes.

Aglaya realised that it would not change anything even if she destroyed the entire mirror and she became aware that her energy would hardly suffice for that either. Exhausted from this brief exertion, she dropped the candle holder and sank down on the floor, leaning against the mirror. She stared at the pieces of the shattered mirror on the floor and picked a sharp shard up. As her fingers closed around it she could feel it cut through the skin and for a moment she just stared at it. She was about to use it when she heard a noise coming from the front door.

Feeling panicky, Aglaya dropped the shard and stared at the living room door. Who had entered her house? She reminded herself that it could only be a close family member. That nobody else would be able to get in but this thought didn't really suffice to calm her. Her heart was racing now and she was shaking with fear.

@Nastya Tikhomirova

Finally, several weeks after she had first thought of the idea, Nastya was in a position to carry out her plan to give her elder sister a pleasant surprise, instead of the string of terrible ones she had accidentally given her recently. There was no way that this could possibly go wrong, it was impossible. Everyone liked dogs. Besides, it was nice to be free to leave her childhood room after being a prisoner to the bed for a few days.

She was very grateful that her mother had intervened, Anastasiya had realised now that letting herself slowly starve was not going to solve anyone’s problems, especially not her own. The artistic flyer would have to learn how to deal with everything that had been happening in a different, more healthy way. Of course, it was extremely nice to see more of Alyona over the past few days as well, and having her undivided attention. However, Nastya missed Aglayka and not being allowed out of bed to see her sister had been a struggle.

Anastasiya could barely remember the 2nd of October, the day that Alyona had kept her home, the day she had collapsed in her lesson with her grandfather and was unable to meet him for lunch to discuss adding Veronika to her coaching team. She had been in so much pain, that Nastya only really remembered crying and clutching her stomach for the day, and she was pretty sure that she was then sleeping for the rest of it. The second day passed by mostly in a blur too, only waking up when her mother came to feed her soup and then sleeping again. By the third day, Nastya was regretting her actions greatly, spending much of the day curled up in a ball in pain as she was slowly introduced to solid food again, and was forced to eat some weird tasteless mash as her digestive system got used to actually doing something again.

On the 5th of October, Anastasiya’s condition began to really stabilise and improve, finding the mash easier to eat and having the strength to sit up properly for the majority of the day. Now, however, Nastya found she had a new problem. She was very bored. Alyona had even left her to her own devices for a while after breakfast, meaning that Nastya was able to test how far she could willingly push herself. She was pleased with her success, as she managed to grab her wand from the bedside table and slip out of bed, walk to her mother’s bedroom next door and (without stepping inside) summon the biggest book she could see and make it back into bed without much trouble. There, Nastya arranged herself so that she had one pillow supporting her back foot and the other pillow was a table on her front leg as she read the healing book she had picked up in the splits, feeling that she should be doing something useful while she was resting.

Most of the book was too technical and… smart for Nastya to really understand, and she felt like her brain was hurting while she skimmed it, but then she found a few pages on the simple healing charm ‘episkey’ that she’d attempted to learn at school once but failed miserably at. Considering the fact that she hadn’t been able to help at all when Aglaya had spliched her arm over a week prior, Nastya thought that attempting to learn it would a) pass the time more quickly and b) actually be quite useful in the future. So, the senior athlete spent the majority of the day practising her incantation pronunciation and making sure her wand movement was perfect. By the end of the day, she was sure she had got it right, though she wasn’t able to practice on anyone. Alyona had been seemingly pleased by her youngest daughter’s progress, as for dinner Nastya was allowed to try a small meal, and Nastya had genuinely enjoyed it. Of course, by then, Nastya’s sensibilities had returned to her enough that she needed the dreamless sleep potion again to sleep properly.

That morning though, after she had a small breakfast, her mother was satisfied enough to let her return to her actual room again and, though she wasn’t allowed to return to training again, Nastya was finally allowed to visit her sister again. Nastya changed out of her pyjamas into a tight-fitting turtleneck jumper and some training leggings, being in proper clothes for the first time in days. She did not bother checking how she looked in the mirror, knowing that she wouldn’t like what she saw staring back at her. If she had seen her reflection, Anastasiya would have seen that her bones jutted out obviously through her jumper’s fabric, and that her hip bones were sticking out. Her face was still rather gaunt, and her usually voluminous red curls were limp and flat. It would have been crazy to think that she looked so much worse only a few days before when she had collapsed during training.

She grabbed a thick woolly coat and stepped outside, feeling a little nervous but also excited to pick up her sister’s gift. The wind was strong, and chilly, but Nastya smiled to herself as she walked down the street towards the centre of the city. It was great to feel the wind through her hair and breathe in the fresh air. Anastasiya walked into the animal shelter, greeting the owners as they took her to the dog that she had picked out a couple of weeks prior. She had asked them to keep him set aside for her until she was ready, and Nastya was so eager to see her elder sister that she couldn’t think of a better time, especially as she felt guilty that she hadn’t been able to see her for several days.

Scooping up the little German Shepard, Nastya cooed at him with a bright smile. “Hello, Bronislav! Are you excited to meet Aglayka? I bet you are! I am too.” Nastya chatted animatedly to her adorable companion, as she carried it out of the shelter and began walking to her sister’s place with a spring in her step that had been missing for a while.

Opening her sister’s front door and shutting it behind her, Nastya immediately started climbing the stairs to go to Aglaya’s bedroom with a nervous smile on her face, hoping that her sister would appreciate little Bronislav. However, as she opened the door to Aglayka’s bedroom, Nastya was worried to find that her sister was not there. “Aglayka?” She called out, as she put the dog gently down on the ground and removed the wand from her coat pocket as she took off her coat and laid it on the bed. “Stay here,” Nastya sternly told the dog as she shut the door and went towards the living room, hoping that perhaps her sister was there instead.

As she opened the living room door, Nastya did not really know what she was expecting to see, but it most definitely was not the sight that was presented to her. She wasn’t even sure how to react, feeling like she had no context to help her, and that the situation was bizarre enough to begin with. What in Merlin’s name had Aglaya been doing while she’d been at home?

“Uhh… Hi?” Nastya waved awkwardly, wondering if perhaps she should turn around and grab Bronislav and go back home. “Are you okay?” Anastasiya shook her head at herself, feeling like it was the stupidest question she’d ever asked. She slowly stepped into the room, keeping her eyes trained on the floor to look out for any glass shards and Nastya felt the pieces clicking together as she noticed the candle holder on the floor. It was almost understandable, Nastya thought as she glanced at the sister with soft eyes. Her sister definitely did not look well at all. She found a small part of the floor that didn’t have any glass she could see, and Nastya sank down to her sister’s level with a tired smile. “I am… so happy to see you.” Nastya uttered as she wrapped her arms around her sister in a hug, squeezing gently. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come for a while. I missed you.” Anastasiya muttered, feeling like it was best to address the elephant in the room a little later on.

Her heart was beating frantically and, although she wasn't aware of it, she was panting as a wave of anxiety hit her. The young witch stared at her living room door, scared that it would open any second now. She knew that she was safe, that her house was protected well enough so that only close family members could simply walk in and yet she was utterly terrified. She wasn't expecting anyone at all. It wasn't her mother's time to visit and her sister had, apparently, given up on her anyway.

Then the door opened and the last bit of colour was drained from Aglaya's pale face as she looked at her sister. She didn't really notice how she was looking, didn't think about that her mother might have had a good reason to say that she had been unwell and wouldn't be able to visit. Nothing of that mattered anyway. Aglaya couldn't tell how long she hadn't seen her sibling, time was passing in a haze for her lately and she could only go with her feeling which, in this case, told her that Nastya had stayed away for too long.

Out of all the things that her sister could possibly say after abandoning her, Nastya only managed to voice a greeting and asked if she was okay? Aglaya stared at her younger sibling incredulously. Anastasiya came to visit her unannounced (not that she had announced her visits before) after staying away for a long time and all she could say was that?

For some reason that Aglaya could not even explain to herself she felt hurt by this. She had been lonely, lost, and desperate for days and she thought that her sister acted as though she was out of line here. Aglaya wanted to protest Nastya approached her, unwilling to let her close again. She didn't want that anymore now. If her sister felt that she could stay away for several days or weeks or how ever long it had been, then she wouldn't make her feel welcome now. She wasn't welcome, after all, not anymore. She was too late.

As Nastya sank down next to her and said that she was happy to see her, Aglaya didn't believe a single word of it and shook her head, her gaze empty and lifeless. She freed herself with as much force as she could muster as her younger sibling pulled her into a hug. She didn't want that. She couldn't bear it. It wasn't right. Why had her sister turned up now? If she had come a lot earlier or a little later then, maybe, things would have been different.

However, while Aglaya wanted to stay cold and make Nastya hurt as much as she was hurting, she felt how she was welling up as soon as her sister apologised that she hadn't come for a while and said that she missed her. Again Aglaya shook her head, unwilling to accept any of it even though she was really craving the attention and affection.

Her gaze rested on the shard she had previously held in her hand and she felt strangely drawn to it as it was already marked with her blood. Why did her sister come in at the most inconvenient moments? Had she come to the office at the artistic flying school later on the open day she'd have been too late and everything would already be over. Maybe she'd also have bled to death had Nastya not found her in the arena after she had splinched herself. And now? Had Nastya not decided to visit her right this moment she might have slit her wrists.

As she thought about this, Aglaya wasn't sure anymore if she wanted to live or die but she was shaking visibly now as silent tears ran down her face. She didn't want to break down in front of her sister again but she was lacking the strength to fight against it.

“I thought you wouldn't come to me anymore,” Aglaya finally said in a trembling voice, unable to look at her sister.

Nastya was wary. Aglaya had just stared at her, not saying anything. She wondered what her sister was possibly thinking. It had always been hard to figure Aglayka out and now, she was even more unpredictable. It made the task virtually impossible. The silence was uncomfortable, a pin could drop and they would have heard it. Nastya was feeling more guilty than ever for being forced to stay away.

The younger of the sisters got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t wanted, but that she had also disrupted something that she wouldn’t have liked. There was an unsettled feeling in her stomach that was different from the uncomfortableness she had been getting used to while going through re-feeding. This wasn’t how she wanted to introduce Bronislav at all. Perhaps he was needed more than ever, but Nastya wondered if Aglaya would even be able to look after him. She’d have to take care of him herself, if not. She couldn’t bear to give him back to the shelter.

Aglaya shook her head, trying to free herself from her hug. Though it broke her heart, and made her feel extremely unwelcome, Nastya immediately let go and respected her sister’s boundaries, but as she shuffled back she couldn’t hide the disappointment and desolation on her face. “Sorry.” Nastya muttered flatly, leaning back on her heels as she knelt, choosing to clasp her hands together to find some source of physical comfort, even from herself.

Her sister shook her head again after she had apologised and said she missed her. Nastya had no idea what this meant, and now that she thought that physical contact was now unwelcome she couldn’t even rub her sister’s shoulder to provide some comfort to whatever Aglaya was… disagreeing to? What was there to disagree on though?

She followed Aglayka’s gaze towards the glass shards and shuddered. She’d have to clean them up soon and repair that mirror (maybe somehow cover it too so they didn’t have to look at their concerning reflections), she didn’t want to get hurt and she certainly didn’t want Aglaya to get hurt anymore than she already was either. It was not her priority at that moment though, especially as she finally heard her sister’s trembling voice.

Looking up and seeing her sister’s tears, Nastya sighed, feeling more guilty for doing what she did to herself than ever. She didn’t think about how it would affect her, didn’t think about how it would affect her mother and Aglayka. There was so much regret in her mind. “What?!” Nastya breathed, hardly believing what she was hearing as her eyebrows furrowed. Was this what all of this was about? Did Aglayka actually care that much about her coming to visit?

“Who told you such a silly thing?” She angrily asked, then took a deep breath trying to tame her frustration in, as she knew she needed to be more patient with Aglayka. “What did mother say to you this time?” Nastya more softly questioned, half rolling her eyes. Their mother was usually behind the communication issues that had been happening recently, it certainly wouldn’t have surprised her.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” Nastya gently offered with a gentle smile, brushing a strand of frizzy hair out of her face to distract herself from her instinctual need to rub her sister’s arm. “I was…” She trailed off, trying to think of a way to explain what she had deliberately done to herself, without saying those words exactly. Nastya didn’t want Aglayka to think that any of it was her fault, especially since Nastya herself was really the guilty party in all of this. Now she could see why Alyona had possibly struggled with what to say, and she found she wasn’t angry at her mother anymore.

“I am-” Nastya corrected herself, “sick. But, I’m getting better now.” That was definitely true, though she didn’t really have a choice in the matter while Alyona had basically kept her hostage for a few days. She briefly wondered how well she’d be able to continue with her recovery once she stopped being the focus of attention and was left to her own devices again. She had certainly found a way of getting lots of attention from her family (or her mother, at the very least) that clearly worked… she couldn’t deny it was tempting to let herself use it to her advantage when she felt neglected, even though she knew that it was really just self-sabotage and wouldn’t help her in the long-run. “Don’t worry, I’m not contagious.” She added, with a half-laugh, hoping that her thoughts weren’t somehow obvious.

“Believe me, I wanted to come but mother wouldn’t let me… understandably.” Nastya felt she needed to defend herself now, gain back whatever trust she had just lost by not being there, but at the same time trying to defend Alyona’s actions too. “I’m here now though. And, just in time… it seems.” Nastya gestured at the broken shards on the floor.

It seemed as though Nastya was disappointed that she could not just come back to Aglaya after abandoning her; that she was upset that Aglaya pushed her away. How dare she assume that the elder of the two sisters would be waiting for her and greet her with open arms after such a long time? Again Aglaya tried to remember just how long she had not seen her sibling but she couldn’t tell. Time was so futile now. Her life which had once been structured was now just monotonous with no schedule to stick to.

Nastya muttered an apology but the older Tikhomirova felt that this was hardly sufficient. How could Anastasiya believe that a flat ‘sorry’ would make her feel any better about this all? Aglaya shuddered, feeling coldness creep up inside of her. This often happened lately. Her mother had commented on the warmth in her flat but Aglaya didn’t feel it. She felt cold most of the time and it was an unpleasant chill that came from deep inside of her.

Her gaze rested on the shard she had held not too long ago and she felt the urge to pick it up again. She was breathing harder now but wasn’t aware of it herself. She fought the urge to take the shard, tried not to think about how it would feel to use it to harm herself, to slit her wrists. Instead of doing that though, she clenched her fist tightly. The thin cuts that the shard had caused moments ago were burning. Her fingers and palm felt sticky from blood but she didn’t care. On the contrary, it gave her some satisfaction that not only others could harm her but that she could be in control, too.

It was just an illusion of control, however, as Aglaya felt entirely unable to keep herself from crying. She felt small, insignificant and vulnerable and it got even worse when Nastya sighed and seemed taken aback by her statement that she had not thought she’d come to visit her again. As the younger sibling angrily asked who had told her such a silly thing, Aglaya hung her head even lower. She couldn’t hold back the vast flood of tears anymore, could not stop herself from sobbing uncontrollably. She did not want to be this weak and pathetic creature that she had turned into and, not for the first time, she wished that Nastya had not entered the office on the open day. It surely was better to be dead than to be a faint shadow of the person she used to be.

Nastya inquired what their mother had told her but Aglaya felt unable to speak. She knew that her voice would not obey her now and so she just shook her head, not daring to look at her sister again. She vaguely wondered if she’d ever get to the point again where she would not feel intimidated by her little sister or anyone for that matter. As it was, however, Aglaya felt almost scared. Nastya was angry and she knew that her sister had some temper issues.

As Nastya explained that she had been or rather still was sick, Aglaya briefly looked up to her through reddened eyes. She swallowed hard and took a deep shaky breath. “Mama said you were feeling unwell,” she finally said in a brittle voice. “Why did you come now if you’re still sick?” she asked, sniffing after every other word, and looked down again. She wanted to stop crying, wanted to stop shaking but she could not regain control over her body. It was exhausting to try and fight. It cost too much energy and, ultimately, she did not succeed anyway.

Aglaya barely registered the comment that Nastya wasn’t contagious. It was the least of her worries that she might catch some kind of virus from her sister. If anything it was disappointing that Nastya wouldn’t infect her with some disease which might achieve what her stalker had failed to do.

“Just in time?” Aglaya asked, feeling momentarily confused what her sister was referring to, but Nastya’s gesture made quite clear that she was not oblivious to the shards on the floor. “Oh…” Aglaya muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed. “That…” she subconsciously lifted her hand to wipe away the tears from her face but smearing some blood over it as she did so. “It’s…” she shrugged, trying to find appropriate words to describe the situation, “nothing.”

She watched as her sister shuddered, and Nastya’s eyebrows quirked upwards thinking that it was odd. It didn’t seem particularly chilly in the room, even if she was still wearing a turtleneck jumper, and indeed a camisole underneath. Anastasiya felt she had a good excuse of feeling the cold more keenly at that moment, since she had no body fat left to insulate her anymore. She didn’t comment on it however, as she noticed her sister start to breathe more heavily as she gazed at the shards. Nastya wondered what was going through Aglayka’s head, and assumed that whatever it was, it was nothing good, nothing she’d want to hear.

It was not Nastya’s priority either, as she began to notice the blood on her sister’s hand and immediately felt her stomach begin to object. She had to take a deep breath in and out to calm herself, which went completely out of the window anyway as she heard Aglaya begin to sob. “No, it’s alright… it’s alright.” Nastya tried to soothe, reaching her hand out to placate her elder sister, stopping just before she reached her sister, remembering that Aglaya clearly didn’t want such affection at that moment. “I’m not angry at you…” Nastya murmured, wondering if it was her tone that made Aglayka cry. She hoped not, she’d feel even more guilty then.

Nastya sat and waited for a reply, narrowing her eyes slightly as Aglaya shook her head, wondering what exactly the gesture meant. The younger of the sisters was more convinced now that this had something to do with Alyona’s communication about her ‘illness’... or perhaps it was better to say the lack of communication.

“Ah.” Nastya nodded her head, mainly to herself, as her elder sister finally explained what Alyona had told her. So, this was their mother’s fault. Nastya found that she couldn’t be angry at Alyona though, try as she might. Unwell was such a vague way of describing her few days of bedrest. Then again, Nastya wasn’t sure what she would say had their positions been in reverse. There was no easy way to say that she had stopped eating to the point of collapsing without Aglayka perhaps feeling like she was to blame. Still, Alyona could have at least been a little specific in her lie. She could have told Aglayka she had dragon pox or something, and Nastya would have been happy to play along. “I came because…” Nastya swallowed hard, averting her eyes away from her sister and hugging her torso, trying to find a suitable answer that didn’t reveal how she actually felt. Nastya didn’t really know how to handle all these weird emotions yet. “I missed you. I missed your company.” Anastasiya smiled, her tone betraying the raw truth to her words. “I wanted to see you were okay with my own eyes.” She added, half-laughing to herself, as she clearly could see that her sister was not okay. She wondered if bringing up the fact that she had a surprise for her would be a good idea or not. Nastya thought it was best to stay quiet for the moment about that though.

She watched with a neutral expression as her elder sister tried to come up with some kind of excuse as to why her hands were bleeding and glass was all over the floor. It was partially amusing and partially disturbing. Seeing Aglayka smear some blood across her face made Nastya retch, which she tried to cover by placing a hand over her mouth as her torso awkwardly jerked forwards. The wave of nausea died down, though it didn’t disappear entirely and Nastya still thought she would be on the verge of vomiting if she didn’t start to clean up some of the mess Aglayka had made soon.

“Oh, nothing is it?” She asked gently, as she slowly lowered her hand from her mouth, hesitantly reaching for her wand. “The smear of blood on your cheek is telling me that you’re wrong.” She gently lifted the wand up, aiming it at Aglaya’s blood stain on her face but keeping the wand a respectful distance away. “Scourgify,” she muttered, watching as it slowly disappeared and allowing a small smile at her success.

“Right,” Nastya said, lowering her wand into her lap again as her stomach churned again, causing some of the colour that had only recently started to return to the younger sister’s cheeks to drain from her. “Let’s start clearing all this up... “ She glanced around the immediate area, wondering if it was best to start with the mirror or start with Aglaya. Logically, Nastya figured fixing the mirror would be best so that they could avoid further injury, but Anastasiya was still not well enough to think with logic. She knew that once they fixed the mirror, she’d have to look at it, and she was terrified of her own reflection. She was worried she’d see how much she’d almost destroyed her body, but there was still a part of her that (even worse) was afraid she’d see an improvement and that her body was showing her recovery.

“Show me your hands and arms,” Nastya gently said, as she rolled up her own sleeves up to her elbow, revealing the skeletal forearms she’d previously hidden under the woolly material. “I want to deal with that before…” Nastya trailed off, realising she shouldn’t finish her sentence. ‘Before I bring up what little I had for breakfast and mother locks me in my room.’ It didn’t really occur to Nastya that Alyona wasn’t a mind-reader, and that unless she or Aglayka told her, then her mother wouldn’t actually know. “Never mind.”

“Anyway, I guess you’re going to be the test on whether I learnt anything from reading that boring healing book.” Nastya said self-deprecatingly as she picked up her wand again.

Aglaya heard her sister say that she was not angry at her and she wondered if that was what she had been worried about. She had trouble to understand the chaos of her own emotions lately and the only thing that was quite pronounced was the self-loathing she felt. She thought that she had not really believed her sister to be angry but rather taken aback or something along the lines of that. She thought that Nastya had stayed away because they were not really that close after all. When they had been rivals she had at least been someone to challenge Nastya. Now she was useless and dispensable. It was no surprise that even her family members turned their backs on her.

As Nastya began to explain why she came to see Aglaya now, the elder sister felt that her younger sibling did not really know it herself and would rather be elsewhere. She felt as though she was shrinking some more and wished she could just disappear altogether. After all, Nastya’s claim that she had missed her company could not be true. Aglaya was well aware that spending time with her was hardly anything anyone could possibly enjoy.

Then Nastya even said that she wanted to see that she was okay and was seemingly amused to say this. Had she come to check if her rival was ultimately defeated? Clearly Nastya had already replaced her at the artistic flying school. There was no way that anyone was still expecting a comeback from Aglaya or was anyone so delusional? She took in a shaky break, trying to force herself to stop crying. It was silly anyway, no matter how many tears she’d still shed – nothing would change that her life had turned into hell from one moment to the next.

As her sister pulled out her wand and aimed at her, Aglaya flinched. It was not the first time Nastya did so, she had cast the disillusionment charm on her twice, had already before cleaned her by using her wand and yet, each time the younger sibling did this, Aglaya felt uncomfortable to say the least. She wasn’t quite sure what had triggered Nastya’s reaction now anyway, being unaware of the fact that she had smeared some blood on her cheek until she heard her sister mutter the cleaning spell while aiming her wand at her face.

Apparently Nastya intended to tidy things up and Aglaya glanced at her briefly, wondering what good it would do to restore an illusion of normality when, actually, nothing was normal anymore. She found the shards surrounding her quite fitting, quite soothing actually. They were like a symbol of herself. Why should they restore the mirror if it would still show a poor copy of a former artistic flying star?

Aglaya raised her eyebrows slightly as Nastya said that she wanted to see her sister’s hands and arms and apparently intended to practise some healing charms on her. She would not let Nastya see the wound from her splinching accident if she could help it, though. Given how sensitively her sister had reacted to a little blood smear she assumed that she wouldn’t be able to stomach seeing the inflamed wound on her arm. Besides, Aglaya doubted that Nastya could have become proficient enough at healing magic to be able to deal with it anyway. If she ever felt the need to get it fixed it was surely a task their mother could handle better.

After a brief moment of deliberation Aglaya held out her hands to her sister anyway, thinking that it might not be too bad if Nastya would heal these. Before she did so, however, she pulled on the sleeve of her sweater to make sure that she would not reveal the bandage on her arm. “Why?” she still asked, “it doesn’t matter anymore.” When she had still felt more like herself, when she had deservedly been called a champion, there had been the need to fix injuries. Now it seemed like a waste of energy to do so.

Nastya was vaguely aware that Bronislav was still upstairs and all alone. She couldn’t forget about him, especially since he could be getting lonely or scared being in an unfamiliar room, but she wanted her elder sister to be more calm before she attempted an introduction. She had a feeling that introducing Bronislav to someone new was going to be interesting, especially since she didn’t know how he’d react, after all, they’d only really just met themselves. If Aglayka was still as high strung as when she had walked in, then it might not go well. Nastya desperately wanted it to go well, she wanted to do something right for once.

That said, it was getting increasingly more difficult to see her sister in this state. Part of Anastasiya just wanted to shake Aglayka and yell at her to snap out of it, maybe even suggest that they could both be crazy and get on their brooms and take wild risks together, long before either of them should be doing so. She was tempted to even make it a competition to see who’d last the longest, just for a pathetic sense of rivalry again. Anything to get Aglaya out of being this depressing little creature in front of her. It genuinely hurt her heart.

Nastya didn’t react as her sister flinched upon her aiming her wand at Aglaya’s face. It didn’t bother her anymore that her elder sister reacted this way, and it didn’t make her feel upset. She was, by now, used to it. Anastasiya hated that she was used to it, but she was. Briefly, Nastya doubted that Aglayka would let her heal her. The younger of the sisters was determined to heal Aglaya whether she wanted it or not, but she’d have been infinitely more comfortable doing so with permission. She waited patiently for a reaction, smiling to herself a bit as Aglayka eventually held out her hands.

Her sister asked her why she was bothering to heal her hands, or at least that was what Nastya thought the question was. She wasn’t quite sure. “Because I’m gonna puke if I don’t.” She blurted out, feeling how her stomach still was very uncomfortable. She wondered if her face had turned green by now. Hastily, Nastya gently tapped her wand against her sister’s right hand. “Episkey.” She waited patiently to see if she was successful, tutting to herself as she only managed half of the hand, the other still covered in little cuts. It was very disappointing, Nastya thought she’d be better than that. Perhaps though, she told herself, she was just tired from the walk to the shelter and her sister’s house after several days of bed rest. That must have been it.

“It does matter. Don’t be silly.” Nastya quietly said, going back to reanswer her sister’s earlier question to take a quick break. Trying again, Nastya finally managed to finish the right hand and she nodded to herself in approval. “How can you say that?” She asked, her voice feeling small and not quite belonging to her. “I don’t like seeing you hurt. Besides, if your body is having to expend energy on silly things like this then it’ll only delay your recovery. I’m sure you don’t want that.” She tried to reason with Aglaya, not knowing if her sister would actually care about her words or just dismiss them as silly.

Finally, Nastya used the healing spell again on the other hand, smiling proudly as she watched the cuts on the left hand slowly mend and disappear all in one go. That was what she had been expecting the first time, and was much better. It was quite an accomplishment, Anastasiya thought. She almost wished her mother had been there to see her accomplish it.

“There, how does that feel? It is better? Did I miss anything?” Nastya asked, anxious for a positive response and reassurance that she hadn’t accidentally done something terrible that she hadn’t noticed. “Don’t move until I fix the mirror, I don’t want you to get cut again.” The younger of the sisters said, before frowning as she decided that actually it was probably better to get her elder sister to stand up first and then do it. Otherwise they’d both have to be dodging shards of glass flying back at the mirror… Yes. Definitely not a good plan. “Ignore that actually.” Nastya backtracked with a self-deprecating smile. “Can you stand up and head towards the door?” She asked Aglaya as she had to put her hands on her knees, in order to give herself the extra support and strength she needed in her weakened state to rise to her feet, doing so with significant effort.

Somehow it soothed Aglaya that Nastya said she’d fix the cuts on her hands because she would puke if she didn’t. It was a relief that Nastya did that for herself rather than for Aglaya who felt that she deserved being in this state. It made sense though that her sister would get rid of things that made her feel uncomfortable and Aglaya briefly wondered if that didn’t include her as a whole as well.

She watched as Nastya tried episkey on her right hand, feeling strangely satisfied that the cuts did not fully vanish at her sister’s first attempt. However, Nastya did not give up and also told her that it did matter. Then she continued to tell her that she was being silly and seemed determined to reason with her. A sigh escaped Aglaya as she listened to her sister’s words, thinking that she was a lost cause and that it really was a waste of energy to treat her injuries.

Nastya mentioned a delay of her recovery and Aglaya looked at her quite surprised. It was odd how she had lost sight of this goal in the past days. She had always been a fighter and now that Nastya spoke of her recovery she felt reminded of that. She shuddered, wondering if there was still a chance for her at all, if she could even recover. It was hard to admit it to herself but she realised that she had given herself up. Truth be told, it had been a slow process and she had not really realised what was happening. She lowered her head, feeling guilty and disgustingly weak.

In the meantime Nastya had finished fixing her hands and Aglaya made a fist and then stretched her fingers again. A small smile spread across her face, acknowledging that her sister had done a good job. “Yes,” she whispered, “it’s better. Thanks.”

The question if there was anything Nastya had missed was hard to answer. On the one hand Aglaya knew that her splinching wound still needed attention if she was in fact attempting to get better and on the other hand she knew that Nastya would not be able to handle it. “Hmm… no, all good,” she muttered, but her voice sounded less convincing than she would have liked. It probably didn’t help her case that she subconsciously put her left hand onto her right lower arm, flinching ever so slightly as she touched it.

Nastya spoke about fixing the mirror and seemed to change her mind how to approach this quite quickly, first stating Aglaya should stay put and then telling her to move. Could she stand up and walk towards the door? While she did not exactly feel great now, Aglaya thought that she’d be able to do so. However, she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to do it, too.

“I guess…” she said with little conviction in her voice. She watched her sister getting up and wondered what was actually wrong with her as she couldn’t help but notice that her younger sibling did not look her best. “Why don’t you just leave it as it is, though?” she offered. “It’s not a big deal. I can…” she shrugged indecisively, “I can clean this up later myself.” Nastya was probably aware of the fact that Aglaya was not too eager to remove the mess she had caused and would struggle doing so but she really didn’t want her sister to overexert herself, considering that she, too, was just recovering from some sort of illness.

Nonetheless Aglaya forced herself to her feet, pulling herself up on the barre. She felt a little dizzy but it wasn’t too bad and so she made a few tentative steps away from the mirror, trying not to step into any shards, if only to avoid that Nastya would feel obliged to deal with further injuries. She did not move to the door, though, but sank down on the sofa which, at least, was halfway between the mirror and the door.

“Honestly, Nastya, don’t bother,” she muttered faintly. “It’s not important. Let Mama deal with it when she shows up next.” She wasn’t sure why she was brining Alyona up now and she shook her head at her own statement. She had not managed to show their mother her splinching wound because it felt to her that Alyona just rushed in and out as quickly as she could, not sincerely caring for her daughter’s well-being. Was she really so desperate to get her mother’s attention now? Aglaya could not remember having reached such a low point before. “Maybe I should help you fixing it, after all,” she muttered after having been lost in thought for a couple of seconds.

Nastya smiled proudly to herself, pleased she was successful at healing the cuts and getting something right for once. “You’re welcome,” she muttered quietly, not sure what else to say and still a little surprised she was even being thanked for her efforts in the first place. Her eyes narrowed as Aglayka said that there were no other injuries needing attending to. She didn’t believe her at all. However, Anastasiya was happy that she’d even managed to get cooperation to heal the small cuts on her sister’s hands, and she certainly wasn’t going to push the little trust that Aglaya had placed in her. “Alright…” Nastya murmured, equally as unconvincing as her elder sister.

“Are you kidding?” Nastya laughed, running a hand through her hair, incredulous at what her sister was saying. She would never understand Aglayka, ever. “This is a big deal!” She argued, shaking her head slightly. “I’m not having you clean it up by yourself, that’s ridiculous. I don’t trust you.” Nastya didn’t really mean anything by it, but she wasn’t going to lie to Aglayka just to spare her feelings. Nastya did not trust her elder sister at all, and Aglaya only proved why she didn’t trust her as Aglaya failed to move to the door and sat down on the sofa instead.

Anastasiya sighed loudly, feeling frustration bubbling up as she tried to keep her face neutral. She was trying her hardest to be patient, she really was, but she was tired from the sudden exertion of her morning compared to the somewhat sedentary life she’d had the few days prior. As Aglayka told her not to bother again, Nastya couldn’t stop herself from giving her sister an irritated look. Her little patience was quickly wearing thin. “It is important, it is dangerous with shards everywhere… not to mention it’ll cut Bron-” She cut herself off with a gasp, as her hands covered her mouth in surprise. She’d almost completely ruined the surprise. How terrible! Quickly Nastya lowered her hands and hastily tacked on, “besides, mother has enough on her plate right now.” That was probably true, Nastya thought, since she’d given Alyona enough trouble herself for the past few days, and Aglaya was surely the worst patient to ever exist as well.

“No, I can do this myself, thank you!” Anastasiya snapped, becoming more agitated as she felt increasingly exhausted by her little outing. She wasn’t sure why, but she took strange offense to the insinuation that she couldn’t handle it herself. She moved to stand by the sofa, positioning herself in such a way that she could at least try to block Aglayka’s view of the mirror. Trying to visualise the fixed mirror in her mind, Nastya narrowed her eyes in concentration as she slowly carried out the wand movement. “Reparo…” She enunciated, determined to get at least one spell done properly the first time. It took a few seconds before the shards slowly moved up to rejoin the mirror, and Nastya had to dodge a small shard that came past her. It broke her concentration, and unbeknownst to her, because of it, a couple of shards remained on the floor.

The colour drained from her face as Nastya swayed on the spot, her free hand swiping at air to find something to grasp onto to steady herself. “Woah…” She murmured weakly, before she sank down on the sofa beside her sister, exhausted by the effort of the spell. She couldn’t go back home like this... if Alyona was there and saw her, Nastya was convinced that she’d either be locked in her room or immobilised to her bed… maybe even both. Her first taste of freedom and it’d look like she’d been completely pushing herself and irresponsible, which she hadn’t. “That wasn’t such a good idea…” She muttered, mainly to herself. If she left within the next few minutes, she probably wouldn’t even make it walking, and apparating was even riskier. She glanced up towards Aglaya’s bedroom where Bronislav still was. She still had to introduce the dog, that she was increasingly feeling was a bad idea, to her sister. Perhaps now was as good a time as any...

Aglaya could tell that her sister did not believe her when she said that there was nothing else to heal and a part of her hoped that Nastya would inquire further and deal with her splinching wound. Clearly her sister wouldn’t be able to fix it properly, she hadn’t been able to do that before either, but maybe she could at least stop the inflammation from getting even worse than it was now. However, the other part of her, the one that thought that she was right to suffer and that didn’t want to bother Nastya, was stronger and Aglaya kept quiet.

“Oh, it’s not. Don’t be silly,” Aglaya shook her head disapprovingly as she responded to Nastya’s reaction. What did her sibling think of her now, though? It was odd how strongly she seemed to feel about the broken mirror and all the shards. The mirror was shattered, just like Aglaya herself felt. Was that really such a big deal? The mirror didn’t matter.

She heard her sister’s sigh as she sank down on the sofa, wondering what her problem was. She probably could have moved to the door but she was out of the way here as well. Why should she stand by the door anyway? Why did Nastya want her to go back to her bedroom? And why did Nastya care so much about the shards? As the other witch stopped mid sentence, Aglaya looked at her with raised eyebrows. Either her sister had lost her mind over the past few days or there was something else that she was hiding from her.

So their mother had enough on her plate?! Was Nastya blaming Aglaya for having been poisoned now? Was she talking about her own illness? Or was there even something else going on that she didn’t know? Why did nobody bother to talk to her properly anyway? They had clearly all given up on her already. Aglaya exhaled loudly and tried to compose herself. “What do you mean?” she then asked quietly, “because of your illness? She hardly spends time with me so that cannot be it.” Her voice sounded tired and there was a slight hint of disappointment audible, too. If Alyona had spent more time with her, Aglaya’s splinching wound would be healed by now, after all.

Aglaya observed as her sister tried to repair the mirror and, had she felt any better and hadn’t she somehow pitied her sister, she’d rubbed it in that Nastya should practise her spells more if she wanted to ever do them properly. As it was, the elder sister remained quiet and her expression became concerned as she saw her sibling sway. She was just about to force herself up to help Nastya (though she had no real idea how to do that as she wasn’t really in a place to be of much help) when her sister sank down next to her.

“Told you so,” she said with a small smirk as Nastya admitted that her fixing the mirror hadn’t been a good idea. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with you?” she asked, somewhere torn between being sincerely concerned and relieved that for once she wasn’t the one displaying a sign of weakness at this moment.

“I’m not being silly,” Nastya countered defensively, trying to not get angry at her sister. “I’m being sensible . You’re the one being ridiculous.” Why was Aglayka being so negligent? Aglayka could get even further injured, she could get injured, their mother could get injured if she came and it still hadn’t been fixed. Poor Bronislav would get hurt. It was dangerous and stupid to leave the mirror as it was, and Nastya didn’t care how long it took to fix it, it was getting fixed before she left.

Aglaya didn’t reply to her at first, but at least that meant that the elder of the Tikhomirova sisters didn’t question her or perhaps pick up on her almost ruining the surprise of the German Shepherd dog who was still waiting patiently upstairs in the bedroom. Nastya wondered how she was going to introduce them. Aglayka seemed resolute in not going upstairs, and she wasn’t exactly eager to climb stairs herself. All she could think of was opening the door with her wand and calling Bronislav down. Even then, she wasn’t sure if that would work.

“Mostly, yes, I suppose.” Nastya replied in a measured tone, thinking about whether or not that was true even as she said it. There was the gala too, she guessed. Actually, she had probably delayed Alyona on gala preparations even more than Aglaya’s poisoning had already delayed them. She sighed to herself, managing to stop herself before she shook her head, feeling that Aglayka would misinterpret that somehow. She felt guilty if she had delayed her mother from gala preparations and put her on a tighter deadline. She also felt guilty for keeping Alyona busy when Aglaya clearly needed her more than she had. She figured that her elder sister had most likely been neglected because of her own lack of control. She couldn’t think of any other reason why the healer would not spend time with Aglayka, as Nastya had slept a lot over the past several days but every time that she woke up, no matter what time it had been, crying out in pain or discomfort, her mother had somehow always been there to soothe her and help. This wasn’t good though, she didn’t want to bring up her ‘illness’ and she was practically backing herself into a corner. “I’m… I’m sorry.” Nastya offered genuinely, in a pathetically small voice.

Nastya managed a side-smile as Aglayka said she had told her so, after she sank down on the sofa, amused that despite all the worrying changes her sister went through she was still, at her core, the annoying and smug elder sister Nastya knew. Her smile faded as Aglaya asked what was wrong with her though. Anastasiya couldn’t tell her, she just couldn’t do that to her. She didn’t think that ‘I almost starved to death and it is entirely your fault’ would come across too well for a start. She sat in silence, averting her eyes, as she slowly reclined back on the sofa to help her regain her strength more quickly, alarmed that she (and probably Aglaya too) could hear her sharp intakes of breath as she tried to think what to say. Her mind went off on a tangent as she wondered how she’d become so fatigued so quickly. Then again, when Alyona had let her go to see Aglaya after the small breakfast she had managed... the healer probably didn’t mean to walk for over an hour, the latter half with an enthusiastic dog pulling her along, in the wind and chilly air, and then see Aglaya and cast more spells in one hour than she had in weeks. Maybe she had pushed herself too hard, too soon, after all.

She soon remembered that Aglaya had asked her a question that even had a twinge of concern and Nastya glanced at her sister again in surprise. Did Aglayka actually care about her? She shook her head, regretting the action immediately, and she let her head fall back to be propped up by the sofa entirely. “It isn’t important.” She replied with significant effort. “Just a… really bad stomach bug.” Nastya lied with a shaky and laboured breath, tearing up as she averted her gaze from her sister. She was so ashamed of herself. She didn’t want her sister to ever know. Nastya was sure that Aglaya would never do something as weak as what she had done, especially not on the younger sister’s behalf. “Sorry.” Nastya added, instinctively apologising for lying to her but knowing that Aglayka probably wouldn’t know that or figure it out. It didn’t really matter. She’d probably be spending the rest of her life apologising to Aglayka anyway.

Aglaya raised her eyebrows when Nastya said that she wasn’t being silly and accused her of being ridiculous. “Why?” Aglaya asked, really not seeing the problem. “It’s my house, my mirror, my shards.” She had no idea why Nastya was making such a fuss about this when, clearly, there were bigger problems to face than a broken mirror. Her sister seemed (thankfully) oblivious to what she had interrupted earlier. Aglaya, who had been happy to see Nastya a moment ago, was now wondering why the younger Tikhomirova sister had shown up at all if she was just going to annoy and accuse her.

Of course, Nastya’s illness was the reason why their mother was so busy, too busy to even repair a mirror that she could clearly successfully restore within less than a minute. Aglaya nodded to herself, her expression hardening as she thought about it. Of course, Alyona would take care of Nastya rather than of her. The family had wanted her to retire already years ago. Her poisoning probably was convenient. She was out of their way. However, now they had to take care that Nastya would not disappoint them and treat her as the highest priority.

As Nastya said that she was sorry, Aglaya felt unable to respond. She felt disappointed, hurt, angry and, all of a sudden, quite tired again.

Great, Aglaya thought to herself. Her sister was not even going to tell her the truth about what was going on with her. She could tell that she was lying and it irritated her. The fact that she apologised again didn’t make anything better either. Aglaya took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and reasoning with herself that lashing out at her sister was not going to make anything better.

She knew she had to say something, though, or they might sit here in an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the day. “Well, Mama seems to think it is very important,” she said, her voice sounding cold. “I think I’ll go upstairs, after all.” Aglaya added, just hoping to get out of this awkward and tense atmosphere.

“I want to take a nap,” she added, hoping that Nastya would then leave her alone and go back to their mother so she could dote on her favourite daughter again. She got to her feet and closed her eyes for a few seconds as she felt a little lightheaded. When she opened her eyes again she turned to face Nastya. “I guess you’ll want to go home to rest once you have recovered enough.” She moved towards the door slowly, not feeling too eager to climb the stairs up to the first floor.

Beyond an indignant splutter, Nastya found that she couldn’t respond to the stream of idiotic words flowing out her sister’s mouth. Aglaya was so stupid, and infuriating! She growled slightly under her breath, half hoping Aglaya didn’t hear it, half hoping she did, as her jaw clenched. She found the only response she could make was an angry glare in her elder sister’s direction.

Nastya narrowed her eyes slightly, as she tried her best to figure out what Aglaya’s reactions to her words meant. It was almost impossible to tell what her elder sister was thinking, especially after she had admitted that their mother probably had been too busy dealing with her mess to check in on Aglaya so much as normal. Was Aglaya angry at her? Disappointed? Jealous? It was so hard to tell. Nastya didn’t think she could really blame her sister for feeling any of those things though. She chose not to say anything, just looking at Aglayka curiously. Her sister really was a total mystery to her.

There was silence for a few seconds as they sat together on the sofa, just the sharp, ragged breathing of Nastya and Aglaya’s own sigh, which made Nastya glance in her sister’s direction. Anastasiya felt her heart skip a beat as she worried that her sister didn’t believe her and would press her further. She no longer had the strength to defend herself in a verbal combat. If Aglayka pressed her even just a little bit more, made one more probing question, Nastya knew that she didn’t have the energy to lie anymore and would reveal everything to her sister. She really didn’t want that.

She closed her eyes as a few tears trailed down her cheek, listening to Aglaya’s reply. Her sister’s voice was cold and Nastya shuddered, feeling very unwelcome again. She guessed that perhaps her sister would even be so rude as to ask her to leave. So, forgetting about the poor dog temporarily, and in preparation for such a request, the younger Tikhomirova sister opened her eyes, and desperately tried to get her breathing under control before she’d attempt to stand and… somehow make it home without any help. “Okay…” Nastya managed after great effort, though she wasn’t sure if she’d been loud enough for her sister to hear her.

“Mm-hmm,” Nastya hummed weakly, as Aglaya added she wanted to take a nap. That was all she wanted to do in that moment too. However, where Aglaya was successful in getting to her feet, Nastya was not. She barely moved her head, let alone the rest of her body, and she could feel her eyelids getting heavy quickly as her breathing calmed down. Panicking, she tried to flutter them open but was fighting a losing battle. She knew she was still pretty weak, considering this was her first day out of bed, but she didn’t think the tiredness would have been so bad. She could faintly hear Aglayka address her, and Nastya felt the sting as the insinuation that her sister didn’t want her there anymore seemed painfully obvious to her, but she quickly remembered Bronislav’s existence and instinctively knew that she couldn’t leave without knowing he’d be okay with her sister. If her sister was going upstairs, Nastya guessed it wouldn't be long until she found out.

Her lips parted, trying to reply, but finding herself unable to beyond a soft noise. Part of her wondered if she could somehow get Aglayka to summon their mother to help her home through that handy mirror her sister had, but Nastya had a distinct feeling that the older Tikhomirova sister would not take that so well. It wasn’t as if she was in a position to be able to ask that of Aglaya either.

She hoped that her sister wouldn’t mind her taking her time to recover on the sofa, already feeling her body slowly tilt sideways, barely conscious as her cheek connected softly with the seat of the sofa. Nastya couldn’t even lift her legs up onto the sofa, as her eyes remained tightly shut, completely unaware of her sister’s movements anymore.