Я хочу быть с тобой (Conrad/Ruslan)

14th January 2004

Zhenya had only just finished her artistic flying practice, feeling, not for the first time, that her  training at Durmstrang was far less effective than it was at the artistic flying school. She missed working with a coach who’d spot any mistakes she’d make and point out what she needed to change to avoid them.

While she would never admit it and actually didn’t even allow this thought to properly form in her head, Zhenya knew deep inside that her relationship with Conrad was interfering with her training, too. She was often distracted, missing elements that she could usually do even if woken in the middle of the night. Yet, the girl had never felt so good about herself as she did now. She was happier, felt less stressed and more optimistic than usual.

Once she had put her broom away, she had taken a quick shower - after all she could hardly meet Conrad, smelling of sweat - had applied some makeup, lip gloss and perfume and was wearing her school uniform again. Her still damp hair was falling in soft waves down her shoulders, moistening her robes a little.

Zhenya bit down her lips to hide an obnoxiously wide grin that was spreading across her face. Her relationship with Conrad was still pretty new and, while she was busy as a bee, the time spent with her boyfriend was very special to her, a real highlight on her tight schedule. The fact that, so far, they had successfully kept their relationship a secret from family and friends made their dates even more exciting. She always felt her heart beating quicker when their meetings drew closer.

The junior athlete walked through the dimly lit corridors of Durmstrang and felt about as exhilarated as if she was going to a romantic picnic on a flower field when, really, she was just making her way to find an empty classroom. They were supposed to meet in the corridor and since Zhenya, to her own big surprise, was a bit early she already tried to find an empty room. She held her ear against a door and, after she heard nothing whatsoever, carefully pressed the door handle down to lurk inside. The room was deserted and Zhenya smiled to herself. That had been easy.

She waited in front of the door for her friend who, soon enough, approached her. “There you are!” the girl exclaimed brightly, grabbing Conrad’s hand before he could even protest. She pulled him into the room, kicked against the door to close it, and pulled him closer. “Missed you,” she muttered as she flung her arms around him and leaned in to put her lips gently onto his. Distracted by their intensifying kiss, the girl did not realise that the door hadn’t shut properly.

@Conrad Sturm
@Ruslan Shishkin

Conrad wasn’t a good liar. He wasn’t a bad liar either -- it was just that, with the number of lies he told, some of them were bound to fall through. Most of them weren’t important enough that anybody cared -- he told his parents plenty that he knew they could see right through, I’m not hungry and I don’t know and I already did and I was studying, and got away with it just because they all thought it was too stupid to fight about.

Keeping secrets was no different from telling lies. Conrad had never deluded himself otherwise, and he was fine with it. It wasn’t the underhandedness of all of this that was bothering him -- it would be sort of rich of him to have scruples about honesty at this point.

But something was bothering him about it, and he couldn’t put a finger on it. It was like they were going to all this work and all this trouble -- covert meetings and avoiding each other in the common room and trying to make time around Zhenya’s artistic flying crap -- just to kiss, and Conrad liked kissing well enough, but he had liked having Zhenya as a friend too. It was probably mostly selfishness, that the common room was more comfortable than empty classrooms or deserted hallways. Or laziness, that he didn’t like having to plan time to meet when, before, he’d just done what he felt like when he felt like it.

But there wasn’t a good way to say any of that and he didn’t want Zhenya to think him selfish and lazy -- not when everybody else already did. And he liked kissing well enough, and certainly liked it more than the idea that they might break up and stop being friends, so he was fine. Dishonest, and selfish, and lazy, maybe, but fine.

She was waiting for him, her hair still damp -- she had been flying earlier -- he approached furtively and let himself be led into an empty classroom. And she didn’t let him speak before she wrapped her arms around him, but it wasn’t like he’d had anything to say -- he didn’t care how her practise had gone, and there was nothing new happening in his life, in which she was still the nicest thing, so he shut his eyes and kissed her back, and it was -- like he knew it would be -- nice. Sometimes she kissed him like it was the most important thing in the world; he didn’t know if he’d ever kissed her like that, but he hoped he had.

Ruslan was certain that secrets were being kept, and he didn't like it one bit. Even though they weren't in the same house, he had noticed that Zhenya had been acting...differently. As if she had something to hide. The first year had thought about this for some time, and decided she was probably practising some new moves that the younger artistic flyers weren't allowed to see yet. For that reason, he hadn't mentioned it to Rodion, thinking that their big brother would likely be in on the secret. Or maybe, he didn't know and Zhenya was just developing a whole new program in secret!

That just wasn't fair. Ruslan was doing his best to keep up with his practises - on the days he wasn't allowed to use his broom (he wasn't a first year, after all) he practised his gymnastics moves in his dormitory, or out in the school grounds or sometimes even in the corridor while they were waiting for class. He'd got a few sidelong looks the first time he'd practised leg stretches outside the alchemy classroom, but now nearly all his housemates were not only used to it but actively encouraged him to practise whenever they had a few minutes and there were no professors around. Having gotten used to being watched by his trainer and then an audience in competition, Ruslan decided that being watched when he exercised was probably good for him as well.

But now he had a mystery to solve, and he didn't want anyone around him while he did. He got on great with his dormmates, but they just walked so loudly! That was clearly no good if he wanted to find out what his sister was up to. Ruslan had been waiting outside the Krov common room for some time, pretending to read a book although it was really too dark to see in the shadows, when finally he was rewarded when his sister appeared. She was wearing her school uniform, so Ruslan wondered if he was wrong, perhaps she wasn't sneaking out for extra practise. Or maybe that was part of the secret, and she was wearing her leotard underneath. He waited until she had started down the corridor in the other direction before he started to follow, walking quickly on tiptoe and pausing every few moments to check he hadn't been noticed.

He followed for several minutes and then she vanished! Startled, the young boy stopped where he was, pressing himself against the wall and wondering what had happened. Then, he noticed an open classroom door, but at the same time heard footsteps. He was going to be discovered! In a sudden panic, Ruslan backtracked several paces and squeezed behind a statue, crouching down so he wouldn't be noticed. It was uncomfortable, but to his relief the newcomer walked straight past...and then he heard his sister's voice. It sounded as if...she was expecting whoever it had been.

Well, this was just weird. Wriggling out from behind the statue, Ruslan cautiously approached the classroom, thinking he would just wait outside for a few minutes and see what he could hear.

After some seconds Zhenya opened her eyes and pulled away just enough to take a proper look at her boyfriend. A soft smile spread across her face as she looked into his eyes and lifted her hand to remove some of her lip gloss from the corner of his mouth. Feeling Conrad this close felt great, maybe even better than flying.

“Had a nice afternoon?” she asked but didn’t really expect an answer. The girl already pulled him further into the room, walking backwards as she led him to a desk on which she sat down. She tilted her head a little and pulled him closer so that he stood right in front of the desk. Then Zhenya gently placed her lips onto his once again and closed her eyes.

It was amazing how kissing Conrad relieved all the stress she had felt all day. It was like opening a pressure relief valve. When she felt the warmth of his body against hers, his lips onto hers, she immediately relaxed in a way that she had not known before.

Time seemed to stand still for a while. Zhenya didn’t know or care how long they were glued together like this. She had no real plans for the rest of the day - except for the huge pile of homework that was still waiting for her, of course, but that was hardly on her mind now.

There was a small noise from outside the classroom and she squinted briefly, before deciding that it was probably nothing at all. She didn’t want this moment to end prematurely, after all. However, the relaxed and happy feeling seemed to fade despite her wish to preserve it.

Zhenya smudged some lip gloss out of the corner of Conrad’s mouth; he twitched his mouth into a wan smile and let her. This, like her putting her arms around him, he was trying to learn to accept. It didn’t come naturally to him – what did come naturally was having his personal space to himself, and keeping it by whatever means he could. His parents weren’t affectionate, not with each other and not with him – the first time Zhenya had tried to hold his hand, he’d pulled it back.

But he was trying to get used to it – he let her stand him right in front of her, and put his hands on her waist, as  it seemed the logical place to put them. “No,” he said, a little faintly – he rarely did have nice afternoons, and she knew that – but she seemed more intent on cheering him up than on asking about it, which suited Conrad fine, as he wouldn’t have wanted to complain anyway.

It did cheer him up, too, to be kissed. Like it was proof he was somehow okay – teachable, or redeemable, like he deserved her affection and time and patience and warmth. For as long as he’d been alive, he’d known that nobody owed him that. He didn’t like that she was always dragging him around, but he didn’t want to say so. He’d started to think of this entire girlfriend-boyfriend thing as something crystal, like his mother’s knickknacks she never let him touch – one wrong move and he’d shatter it, and then Zhenya would never speak to him again, and he would cut his fingers picking up the pieces.

When she kissed him again, he did his best not to think about its inevitable ugly end, and kissed her back, at least until there was a noise from outside and he jerked back. He could tell she’d heard it too – her face had tightened a little – but she didn’t move to investigate it, so Conrad did – “Shit, the door’s open.” He let go of her to hurry over and shut it, and spotted a scramble of movement – he took two long strides and closed in on what was probably a first or second year, wand out. “Oh,” he said – on second glance, this was one of the other artistic flyers. He huffed out a long breath, vague dread already solidifying in his stomach, and said over his shoulder, “Hey, Zhenya, it’s one of yours.”

What were they doing in there? Was the older boy helping Zhenya plan her next season's flying program? Ruslan was still at the stage of mostly being told what moves and sequences would comprise his set pieces and performances, but he knew his sisters had far more freedom of choice over what they did. He frowned as he crept closer, trying to hear what they were saying. It didn't make sense that someone who didn't fly himself would be able to offer much in the way of assistance or advice...

They weren't talking, anyway. Ruslan wouldn't have been quite close enough to hear an actual conversation, but it was weird...Zhenya had said something, and then the boy had said something - or maybe he'd just grunted because it had only been a single syllable - and now there was silence. No, not quite silence, he could hear them breathing and...nothing else. Just a weird little sound that reminded him of Makar the mouse drinking from his water bottle. Not quite an eating sound, but a little bit like it. Ruslan had been holding his breath as he crept closer, and now he breathed in quickly through his nose at what he saw. It was a mistake, he knew that immediately; there had been dust on his robes from hiding behind the statue and before he could prevent it he let out a little sneeze. He clapped his hand over his face, so the sound was muffled, but even so, he was sure they must have heard.

But by then he was at the door and peering through the gap, and he saw that Zhenya wasn't practising or planning a routine or anything at all. She was kissing the boy, and then when she heard his sneeze she stopped and they both looked around. Ruslan shrunk back into himself, skittering backwards on tiptoes at an impressive speed, but not quickly enough that he was out of range when the boy stepped outside, wand raised. He was in trouble for eavesdropping now, Ruslan was sure of it. He took a breath, planning to explain that he'd just been walking past at that precise moment when the boy's next words irritated him.

one of yours..?

Ruslan's mind began to work overtime. He didn't know the boy beyond having seen him once or maybe twice watching Zhenya fly, but the boy knew him. That meant Zhenya must have talked about him, pointed him out... but Zhenya never gossiped. And he definitely hadn't imagined them kissing. In Ruslan's mind, sheltered as it as from everything except training and competitions, kissing was practically a precursor to getting married, and he was sure their parents wouldn't want Zhenya to do that yet! So he took a deep breath, stared at the older boy, and asked politely "Are you Zhenya's boyfriend?"

Zhenya closed her eyes for a second and exhaled loudly. The moment had passed. She felt certain that whatever source of the noise Conrad found outside the classroom that they wouldn’t be getting back to kissing anymore today. She suppressed a sigh as she watched her boyfriend hurry towards the door that she had unfortunately failed to close properly behind them earlier.

It’s one of yours.

The girl thought that her heart skipped a beat. When she had been happy to ignore what- or better whoever was out in the corridor a moment ago, her face was now turning pale. This wasn’t good at all. She slid off the desk and followed Conrad to the door in time to hear her little brother’s voice.

Are you Zhenya’s boyfriend?

If there had been any doubt before whether or not the person in the corridor had seen them kissing, Ruslan’s question made it pretty clear. Zhenya chewed on her lower lip, she felt guilty, angry, anxious, embarrassed all at the same time. She looked from her little brother to her boyfriend, unsure if she should say anything or not. Their secret was out now. Her heart was racing and she just wished there was a way to turn back time. She should have closed the door properly. Should have taken precautions.

“Rusya...” Zhenya began, but didn’t quite know what to say. She felt how her cheeks turned from pale to red. She glanced at Conrad, wondering if he had any idea what they could say to make things right again. She hoped that he did not feel as lost for words as she was.

He wasn’t sure whose idea it had been, initially, not to say anything. His, maybe, because he’d been so anxious at the gala when there were all those guards and adults around. Hers, maybe, because she was the only one here with a massive gossiping family to worry about. His, because he didn’t want his roommates to make fun; hers, because she had so much more to lose. (Conrad only stood to benefit, here; when he’d told his father he was invited to Rybinsk to see a friend perform, his father’s only comment had been that at least this friend was a girl.)

Conrad looked at Zhenya. Zhenya looked lost. Conrad looked back down at her little brother. This didn’t seem like it should have been his responsibility, as it wasn’t his brother, but if she wasn’t going to be of any help, he could handle it just fine, couldn’t he? It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to deal with idiot little children. He’d been an idiot little child himself once and he had been manageable.

Was he Zhenya’s boyfriend? He didn’t want to be, not in the way that most people were boyfriends and girlfriends – he didn’t see any appeal in falling all over each other in the corridors, acting like fools in the village, even in the vague, half-considered notions of doing more than making out in empty rooms. But that wasn’t the question anyway – the question was what he was, and – more importantly – the questions was what he wanted people to know he was.

That. he could answer with no trouble at all – he never wanted anybody to know anything about him. He crouched down to get on the younger boy’s eye level, and willed his voice to sound stern and serious and unquestionable, and said, “No, and if you go around telling rumours that stupid, I’ll beat you up. What were you even following us for, huh? You spying on your sister?”

He was! Zhenya's reaction practically told him as much! If they'd been talking about flying sequences or what music she planned to use for her next free programme Zhenya wouldn't be blushing, she would be scolding him for eavesdropping before swearing him to secrecy! But she wasn't doing any of that, just looking at the older boy as if she hoped he was somehow going to fix the situation.

Ruslan really wasn't sure there was a situation, anyway. The fact that Zhenya had a boyfriend was going to affect her flying of course, unless he was happy to just sit and watch her practise, or maybe...maybe he wanted to learn flying as well? That would be fine, so long as she didn't spend too much time trying to teach him hersself at the expense of her own training. Ruslan supposed he might be able to help; his training schedule wasn't so full as his older sister and besides, he would still be at a far advanced stage than any beginning, even if they were several years older than him.

These thoughts flitted through his mind in a second and by the time the boy bent down to his level, Ruslan was feeling quit pleased with himself, so the next words came as a shock.

What?!

The first year felt a trickle of fear down the back of his neck, as if cold water had dripped down his shirt collar and was now running down his spine. He knew he shouldn't have been following Zhenya and he supposed he had been spying, and that was wrong, but...

She was his sister. No matter how much she liked this boy - and now Ruslan was even more convinced they were boyfriend and girlfriend, because people only made threats about things that they didn't want others to find out, like no, of course I'm not doing a triple jump in my free programme, don't you dare tell anyone I am - Zhenya wasn't going to stand there and let him be hurt. Ruslan's knees were shaking and he was finding it hard to breathe, but he swallowed hard and forced himself to meet the older boy's eyes.

"She's my sister. I'm allowed to follow her if I want to and anyway, if you beat me up I don't think she'd like you much anymore..." his voice came out far too high pitched and he knew he sounded like a little kid, so for good measure he added "and neither will our brother Rodion when I go back to my common room and tell him what you did to me, so there!" Then he spun on his heel and began running back down the way he'd come, as fast as he could.

Fortunately Conrad took the initiative to talk to Ruslan and Zhenya hoped that he’d find the right things to say. She didn’t know what exactly she was expecting. After all, the girl had no idea how to convince Ruslan that he hadn’t seen anything, that there was nothing worth talking about.

The words that Conrad said were meant for Ruslan. Zhenya was quite aware of that and yet, hearing him tell her little brother that he was not her boyfriend hurt her feelings. It was silly, of course, but she could feel how the colour faded from her cheeks. She chewed on her lip, silently reasoning with herself that he had only said this because they didn’t want rumours out there.

It was one thing that Conrad told Rusya off for spying on her and said that they weren’t a couple but it was an entirely different thing that he threatened to beat her younger sibling up. Admittedly Zhenya didn’t feel comfortable with the situation at all, but threatening violence was nothing she could accept. Rusya, no matter how silly he had behaved, was her little brother, after all.

“Conrad,” she hissed disapprovingly. However, before she could go on, Ruslan already chose to respond and the girl shook her head. This was getting out of control. Why hadn’t they taken proper precautions to prevent a situation like this? Clearly she’d be in a lot of trouble if Ruslan went to talk to Rodion about any of this.

“You are not allowed to spy on me,” Zhenya blurted out, shooting an angry glance at her sibling. He had a point, though, if Conrad really beat Rusya up, then she’d be forced to break up with him. Her younger brother was annoying and had overstepped boundaries here but he was family and still a child. She could not tolerate him being beaten up.

“Ruslan, don’t you dare run to Rodya now!” she called after her little brother. “Come back. Let’s talk about it. What does it take for you to… forget you met us here?” It was quite unlike her to try and bribe her younger sibling but she felt that it was the only option that she had left to get out of this situation alright.

This was a mistake, Conrad realised. Big mistake. Mistake! Not only did Zhenya seem sort of put out by the threat (he assumed because she was a girl) but her little brother bolted, which – in retrospect – Conrad definitely should have seen coming. Zhenya said, don’t you dare run! Fat use that would be on a kid already running away; at that age, by the time he’d taken off, Conrad was usually way past heeding anybody’s ‘don’t you dare.’

So he scrambled off after him – baby Shishkin had the head start and the advantage of having been on his feet, but Conrad had longer legs, so he managed to snare the younger boy by first one arm, and then the other. Mistake again; Shishkin was putting up a respectable fuss. He’d have been impressed if he hadn’t been annoyed; he said, “Fine – okay – I won’t hit you so long as you stay put and we talk about it, yeah?”

God, this school had gotten soft.

Tentatively, he let the boy go, and crouched back down again, this time less to be on the same eye level and more because their little sprint had sucked most of his breath away. He swore vividly under his breath and waited for Zhenya to catch up with them. She wanted to bribe Ruslan, that was his name – well – Ruslan was a boy and boys were boys; as soon as Zhenya opened the floodgates for blackmail, Ruslan was going to play her for every Knut she had. You couldn’t buy good behaviour.

He looked over at Zhenya and raised his eyebrows, trying to convey a lot of things with one expression – mostly that this was her brother, so he thought it should be her financial commitment, since he was perfectly willing to stick by his original suggestion, even though – now that he thought about it – Rodion had ten centimeters on him, and the thought of beating up a little kid kind of made him sick to his stomach. But – still – maybe Ruslan wouldn’t call his bluff. He didn’t look stupid. All the more reason not to bribe him, Conrad thought, but that was Zhenya’s problem.

Ruslan was naturally agile, and he darted down the corridor as if his left depended on it, ignoring Zhenya's shouts. Somewhere what she was saying registered and he thought she wasn't really going to let the bigger boy - Conrad, so that was his name - actually hurt him. That didn't mean he was going down without a fight though. Zhenya was shouting something - he didn't really care what - but he had already made it halfway to the staircase and was planning to slide down the bannister to give himself a bigger lead when he felt an arm wrap around his waist.

"Get off me!" he yelled as he was lifted off the ground, flailing both with arms and legs and attempting to thrash his body around enough that Conrad would drop him. He wasn't scared so much now, just very angry that someone had not only threatened but grabbed him without permission. Even his trainers didn't do that any more! He was wriggling so hard he barely heard Conrad's words.

Then it registered what he had said, and the young Klyk considered this as he continued to struggle. It wouldn't do to let the older students think they had won too easily. With a final double-legged kick that he thought might have made Conrad stagger backwards, he went limp. "Put me down" he said again, and this time his voice didn't sound quite so childish. He sounded more like himself. More in control.

He didn't want Zhenya and her stupid boyfriend to realise that though. "Why do you want me to forget how mean you've been to me?" he asked, pouting a little "Okay, I won't tell Rodion, but I might write to Mama. Or Ommer Valera. Ve always gives good advice..." he was watching Zhenya closely for her reaction, because he had a feeling that if she didn't want him telling Rodion about this, she certainly didn't want the rest of their family knowing she had a boyfriend. He just wondered how keen she was to keep it a secret. There was one way to find out. He took a deep breath and said slyly "But you've got to let me go. I've got a dark flora and fauna essay I need to get finished for tomorrow, and I didn't have time to start it yet because I was too busy practising."

The implication was clear, it was just a question of whether he'd interpreted Zhenya's offer correctly.

Where Zhenya had tried to achieve something just by using words, Conrad took action. Quite clearly that was a better way of dealing with Rusya who wanted to run to Rodya to tell him about Zhenya and Conrad.

The girl was grateful that her boyfriend was reacting so spontaneously and courageously, although she wasn’t sure if lifting Rusya off the ground was actually needed. It felt a little exaggerated but she couldn’t really blame him. After all, their reputation was at stake and probably many more things that she’d rather not think about yet. She followed the boys, but didn’t rush. While she could have easily caught up with them sooner she wasn’t all that eager to rejoin the conversation.

Conrad’s expression told her that he was not happy with the situation and apparently didn’t approve of her first attempt at handling it. She offered an apologetic smile in return before she turned to look at her sibling. Right now she had very little sympathy for Ruslan, but she had a feeling that neither yelling at him nor telling him off or threatening him would help them to reach their goal - that is that Rusya kept quiet about the things he saw and the things he suspected.

“We haven’t been mean to you,” Zhenya burst out when Ruslan asked why he should forget that they had been mean. “You have been spying on me!” The girl added irritatedly before Ruslan finally conceded and said that he wouldn’t tell Rodion. Zhenya almost sighed in relief but then her little brother added something that made her heart skip a beat.

“No!” she exclaimed, turning pale. “Don’t do that. Please, I beg you.” Okay, she knew that she had just lost bargaining power but she hadn’t been able to help it. The prospect that Ruslan might write home to their parents or Valera was even worse than if he told Rodion. After all, Rodya was at school and she could try to reason with him. However, a letter home… That was a totally different thing.

Zhenya’s eyes narrowed as she tried to make sense of what Ruslan was saying next. Was he just eager to finish his school work? Was he indicating that she should help him with his essay or did he even expect her to write it for him. She glanced at Conrad, expecting that he would not approve if she offered to write it for Rusya. Her cheeks reddened as she turned back to her younger sibling. “I could probably help you a little with that,” she offered hesitantly.

“Only I was mean to you,” said Conrad, at the same time Zhenya denied that either of them had been. He wasn’t sure at whom to glare – this was getting too far out of his control – so he pressed the heels of his hands against his temples and squeezed hard, like he was trying to pop his eyes out, to let Zhenya handle it.

She was doing a terrible job; now she had moved on to begging. Conrad twisted his head up at her and said, his voice low, “Zhenya,” more to remind her that he was also there than because he had anything useful he wanted to say; he had plenty that wasn’t useful that he didn’t want to say, fizzing up in his throat. But she was acting pathetic and it wasn’t going to do her any good – what sort of appeal was weakness? What was she going to teach her brother, other than that she could be led like an ass?

Zhenya would dump him if he said that, he thought – not just for the sentiment, but for the crudeness of it (which didn’t make much sense; he was pretty sure boyfriends and girlfriends should be allowed to insult each other when they were being stupid.) But he was right – maybe Zhenya hadn’t grown up wild, but Conrad had, and so Conrad knew, sooner or later, that little boy had to learn not to stick his nose where it didn’t belong, where it wasn’t wanted. It wouldn’t be nice, or fair, or easy, but what was?

To that end, Conrad sat back on his heels and opened his mouth to keep bullying Ruslan, just as Zhenya gave him a sheepish look, then turned back to her brother. I could probably help you a little with that.

“Zhenya,” said Conrad again, “You can barely do your own schoolwork. Look –” he huffed a sigh, then stood up, lowering his voice to a hiss in hopes that Ruslan wouldn’t be able to hear it. “If you bargain with him, you’re only going to keep bargaining. You’re his sister, don’t you know any of his secrets?”

Although he was the youngest of the Shishkin siblings, Ruslan already imagined himself cleverer than his sisters. This felt like a test, to see how he could get out of this situation not only without getting into trouble himself, but also by turning it to his advantage. It was clear that Zhenya desperately didn't want anyone to find out she and this Conrad had been meeting secretly, but equally obvious that the older boy wasn't going to be so easily swayed. Ruslan thought privately that he obviously hadn't met anyone else in their family, or he would also be desperately hoping that nobody found out either.

He would work with what he'd got, though. Zhenya begging him not to tell anyone was a good start, though she hadn't picked up on his veiled request for help with his homework quite as well as he had hoped. He decided to push a little further.

"I'll try not to say anything" he said "but you know, when I've got so much to do, I sometimes forget what I'm supposed to say or not to say..." he spoke quite thoughtfully and reasonably, head tilted slightly to one side. But then her boyfriend had to pull her aside and whisper something, annoyingly so quietly that the first year could only catch a few words here and there.

"What secrets?" he asked, looking from one to the other "You've got secrets, I don't have any secrets. Well...except that I spent all my allowance already, and I really wanted to get a new quill... I saw one in the village, it's a white eagle feather, but I can't afford it..." he sighed sadly, eyes wide and tragic, though with a glint of triumph behind the acting. There. Could he be any more obvious short of demanding "Zhenya, buy me a new quill"?