{don't get any big ideas} {jer/danny/pm}

To say that Aiden was irritable was a bit of an understatement. It seemed like getting a girl had suddenly irreparably changed his best friend (well, one of his best friends, at any rate) and he was the sorry sod that had to pay for it. (Also Danny, but he was busy feeling sorry for himself at the moment, thanks). "I hope your girlfriends boobs are worth it." he grumbled, feeling entirely put out about the whole thing. They were in France, he was allowed to feel annoyed Jere was too whipped to venture into a topless beach. Not even full nude! Just... topless. It wasn't like they had to oggle like perverts or anything. There was just time in a mans life where you had to be ... open to new experiences.

Mostly he was put out that he would not be seeing those twins they'd met on the cruise. It seemed criminal, really, to keep those two waiting. "We should have left you on the boat. Danny and I could've been charming Saphir and Emeraude right now." he added, smirking a little, before sighing. Right then. That was enough grumbling about lost opportunities. "Just remember we stuck by your side despite this grievous besmirchment of the code." at this point he was just giving Jeremy shit. He wasn't actually that worried about the twins. He'd gotten their floo so, realistically, he could be patient. "Did you happen to see where Ollie we- bloody hell!" all thoughts of where his cousin had gone left as his brain registered what his eyes were showing him.

"Maybe we just ... don't mention this to your girlfriend." he said faintly, suppressing a blush, as he averted his eyes. He could hear Ollie giggling like a hyena from somewhere off to the right, the traitorous asshole that he was.

@Danny Willbond @Jeremy Edwards

"I hope your girlfriends boobs are worth it." Jeremy's answer went without saying, but the wizard gloated anyway. "Oh, they are." And while he understood Aiden's plight, Jeremy didn't want to feel guilty about going to a nude beach on a boy's trip. Not that he'd really have anything to feel guilty about, it wouldn't be as if Jeremy had persuaded anyone to take off their clothes (as if he had that sort of gift in the first place) but still. He really liked Montse, and he was being so careful. He'd politely declined, much to the other wizard's dismay, and was willing to take the verbal beating he'd signed up for as a result. Jeremy would carry that burden for love.

Except for Ollie had managed to navigate them straight to the nude beach anyway. "Well, shit," Jeremy said, and while his mind told him to look away, his eyes followed a tanned witch with blood hair as she passed by. "This is your fault, Aiden," Jeremy said, finally pulling his eyes off of the bare backside walking away from them, and punched his friend in the shoulder.

"I thought their names were Sapphire and Emerald? Like gems?" Danny interjected, his brows pressed together in confusion and maybe a little fear. He had definitely called the one twin 'Emerald' at least a few times so if that wasn't her name..

Either way, it wasn't like he was going to see her again probably. Thanks to his dumb friend Jeremy and his reluctance to hang out at a topless beach. He shot Jere a glare as he bragged about his girlfriend's boobs. And for the 20,982,854,983th time, Danny told himself he had to get a girlfriend. Stat.

"Don't really understand why we couldn't go anyway. It's not like Montse would have to know about it," Danny grumbled as he lugged a cooler behind him filled with the beerskis that would soon be cracked open as soon as they got settled into a nice spot.

Danny grinned at Aiden's wordy remark about the bro code and backed up up immediately. "Yeah, what he said," he added eloquently as he tripped over his own flip flop, his feet sliding in the sand and he felt the drinks and ice sloshing around in the cooler. He had done a cooling charm but from his vast experience in day drinking, he knew he would not be able to perform another freezing spell as often as it was needed once he started drinking. And warm beers just weren't acceptable.

"Oi, watch where you're--" Danny complained as he inadvertently walked right into Jeremy's back as his friend stopped short right in front of him. A second later, the cooler hit the sand, Danny's eyes widening, and the biggest of smiles slowly turning up the corners of his lips as he realized what they were talking about.

"Best. Day. Ever..." Danny drawled as he blinked a few times and still the sight of two naked witches walking by did not disappear from his view.

"What do you think Saphir and Emeraude are, exactly?" he questioned, feeling laughter bubbling up in his chest. "Yes well, I'm glad someone gets to bask in the sight of boobs soon, since you've deprived your mates of the same. The twins were fit." he said, frowning a bit, before smirking at Danny. "I might have acquired a floo adress from Saphir." because unlike some, he had game, thank you. "That's what I said. S'not like we would've blabbed, though Danny does have a big mouth." he was about 70% confident that Jer's girlfriend wouldn't have found out.

"You're fucking welcome." he said, a grin crossing his face, before he backpedaled. "I mean blame Ollie. Literally. If Montse finds out you make sure she knows this was not me." he added, gaze flickered from one witch to the next quickly enough to give himself a nose bleed. Just wow. He was never leaving France if this was what they always had on offer. He was so distracted he almost missed Ollie talking to a rather buxom brunette like it was nothing. Damn but his cousin had been holding out on him, hadn't he? "One day when I grow up, I'll be Oliver." he said, feeling a good amount of hero-worship for his cousin. The woman was bronzed and bloody gorgeous and there he stood having a perfectly normal conversation with her like it was nothing.

Meanwhile he was trying not to stare too blatantly like a bloody creep or loose his composure entirely. "Agreed." he added, confirming his vehement agreement that this was a very good day. He felt vaguely guilty about Jer being dragged on, having internally made his peace with not being here, but resolved that Montse just wouldn't find it. "Danny you need to not mention that Jer was here, if anyone asks." he added, clapping both of his friends on the back before setting his chair down and anchoring down the umbrella he'd been carrying. He didn't plan on sitting still for very long but he felt like he needed to give the view a proper moment of appreciation so he sat himself down.

Jere was trying to be a good guy, but also, there was that part of his brain that was ready and waiting to convince him that this wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t bad. He wasn’t awful for looking because it was just that, just looking. And the wizards beside him didn’t exactly tell him to cover his eyes either. This was fine, right?

The red-headed wizard moved a little further down the beach, “C’mon, let’s get a good spot,” He said, but his words were drawn out, eyes on a blond not far from them and clearly distracted. A good spot, he was hardpressed to think of a bad place on this particular beach. Jeremy already knew he’d never be able to enjoy the regular beach again. Sandcastles, chubby toddlers with water wings, and old men with not nearly enough swim trunk covering their junk; no, thank you. It was nude beaches only from now on…. And Jeremy couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Monsterrat might like to come to a place like this.

“You're never going to grow up, Aiden,” Jere said after a bit of a pause, but it didn’t matter; there was no expiration on half-assed insults when it came to these wizards.

"You got her address? When? What is it?" he asked, surprised. Did Aiden really have more game than he did? Emerald - oops, Emeraude - had only answered him in one syllable responses. He wondered if it's because he inadvertently got her name wrong.. Oh well. He set his chair down as Aiden did and sat up shop, relaxing into the beach chair like he owned every bit of sand.

"No, I don't!" Danny protested the insult about having a big mouth, mostly on principle. As if he couldn't keep a secret. He paused for a beat then grinned widely. "Actually, I do," he admitted but didn't care in the least as he stacked his hands behind his head and relaxed, his sunglasses covering the very obvious staring he was currently doing. It took him a few seconds to focus on the jab he threw in Jeremy's direction. "Besides, Jer's girlfriend is made up sooo..."

He pressed his lips together, hiding a smile, as the joke-he-wouldn't-let-die came to the surface once again. Sure, he had met Montse, a few times now, at trivia, at the flat, but how Jeremy had landed Montse was still a mystery (no offense to his best friend, of course).

"Why would you ever want to grow up. Adults are boring," Danny added, cracking open a beer from the cooler, the ice water trickling down his forearm.

"Somewhere in my pack?" he said thoughtfully, at least fairly certain he'd shoved it down there last minute. "We can probably floo them later." he tacked on, smile on his face. Maybe they could work out a double date or something. He gave his friend a look in response, rolling his eyes at the denial, only to grin a second later. He loved Danny's big mouth usually, as long as it didn't get him in trouble.

His teal gaze flickered over towards Jer, laughing, as he basically got called a child. "What he said." he quipped, agreeing with Danny wholeheartedly. He had plenty of time to mature and morph into a significantly less fun version of himself, no need to hasten the process. The thought of being chained down by a normal life sort of set him off into panic. He enjoyed his freedom to explore and do what he wanted a bit too much to miss the fact that his friends led pretty normal lives. He still looked at the world like a it was a ball of magic and adventure. Couldn't imagine not, half the time.

He wasn't sure he would grow out of that, actually, no matter how old her got.

“Yeah, and you never kissed Tricky,” Jeremy shot back at Danny with a know-it-all kind of smile, and then he laughed. The redhead was totally (not) confident in his ability to keep such an attractive, unique, brilliant witch like Montserrat, but he tried to pretend that he was anyway. Even just for Danny’s sake. And then he turned to Aiden and gave him a lopsided grin. “And neither did you, so don’t even start,” Honestly, Jeremy didn’t believe half of what Aiden or Danny said, and even less of it when Freya wasn’t around to corroborate the story. Still, he knew even broken clocks were right twice a day, so maybe some things did happen.

Growing up was for the faint of heart, and Jeremy had no plans on doing it anytime soon. He refused to care too much about work, he never remembered to pay bills on time, and he had not eaten a vegetable that wasn’t covered in hot cheese since last Christmas. Growing up was for losers, and Danny, Aiden, and Jeremy weren’t that. They had cool, fun hobbies that were absolutely not a waste of time.

“You guys see the new line of pranks at the Weasley’s shop?” Jeremy asked, settling in against his beach chair and relaxing. “Self-adhering tin-foil, calendars that keep flipping back to the wrong day, salt cookies….” Jeremy rubbed his hands together deviously, “It’s going to be a good time at work next week,”

He saw Aiden's look and grinned, chuckling at the well-aimed jab. Whatever. Some girls liked him for his candor. Not that he had met any yet, but they had to be out there somewhere right? "Yeah, yeah," Danny said with a quick glance at Aiden and then he became very interested in fishing out another bottle of beer. Who wouldn't want to kiss Tricky, let's be honest.

As Danny watched beachgoers from behind the safety of his darkened sunglasses, he let out a low whistle. "Yeah, I did. Corner's not going to know what hit him next week," he grinned slowly and shook his head. "Think Ol' Reg has caught on that we're the ones who rigged the gobstones to all go off at the same time on his desk? That one was good," Danny remembered fondly, the mucus spitting out of the little stones in a gleeful display of disgusting slime. It was glorious.

"Didn't even say anything." he protested, hands making little calming motions, teal eyes flickering down awkwardly as he caught Danny's gaze. This was definitely one of those not rehashing things moments. "They're brill'." he managed, mustering a great deal more enthusiasm than he strictly felt. Weasley's shop really was rather amazing, though, so it wasn't like he was lying. "You lot' are going to get sacked." he managed with a bit of a cackle.

How they hadn't already he wasn't honestly sure. He was pretty frequently caught off guard that both Jer and Danny worked at the bloody ministry. "Is that what you two do all day, play pranks on Corner?" he asked, amused because of course he was. Sometimes he regretted not following his two idiots but it wasn't very serious thoughts. Truly he really loved the curse breaking gig, loved going out and exploring too much to fancy himself shackled to a desk job, no matter how entertaining.

There were times, though, where he just missed being home. This though? It was nice to just be able to kick back with his friends and enjoy ... the pleasures of the world, sort of speak.

{fade ouuuuut!}

"Is that what you two do all day, play pranks on Corner?" Jeremy took a moment to glance at Danny, that knowing stare glinting in his eyes, and then nodded. “Pretty much,” he admitted, half expecting Danny to say the same thing in unison, and then laughed. Jeremy and Danny should have been fired from their ministry job months ago (or never hired, that would have been more reasonable), but they hadn’t been. And not for lack of trying. The boys were a menace on the mail charts, they rarely remembered timelines, and the pranks were starting to escalate and get out of hand. Not to mention Danny’s inconsiderate (and hilarious) Harry Potter clock, which constantly spews profanities instead of reminders.

Maybe it was a worker shortage, or maybe someone had taken pity on them (big mistake), but they were still fully fledged Ministry Employees. The world was funny that way.

“I imagine the pranks are less entertaining at Gringott’s,” Jeremy said, gazing at Aiden, but his eyes were glued to the scenery around them. “Goblins are funny sometimes, though, right?” He imagined not. Something about the way they always seemed to scrunch up their unimaginably wrinkly noses at him told them they weren’t a bunch of comedians.

Still, Jeremy hoped Aiden’s job was fun, and with almost no time at all, the boys were moving on to the next conversation. And the next. And the next. And the alcohol followed in suit. And soon enough, Jeremy had no recollection of how they’d gotten here or how they were going to get home.

And that was fine by him.

/end

Going to get sacked? "Nah, they love us," Danny said breezily. Honestly though he wasn't really sure why they hadn't been fired. Sure, they delivered the mail (usually) and mostly to the right place (sometimes), but there were a lot of days where he and Jere competed to do the least amount of work. And there were even more days where he almost felt guilty to Reg for being such a piss poor employee.

He glanced at Jere, sharing a look, and then nodded along with him, saying at the same time, "What else is there to do?" Danny grinned and again had to wonder how they hadn't been reported to HR more than the few times they had really messed up. He guzzled down his drink as the boys moved on to talk Gringotts and while the Ministry wasn't half bad, Danny had no interest in working in the lightless pit of the vaults at Gringotts. He wasn't even sure why Aiden liked it.

But he didn't hesitate to offer his services. "You know, it kind of sounds like you're lonely at good ole Gringotts. Want us to come over and help?" he asked, an innocent smile on his face as he looked over at Aiden and blinked. That expression usually meant trouble and soon they were laughing about the 'help' aka the pranks the boys might've played on some goblins before they were probably fed to the dragons.

/end