nights we won't remember || isaac

For once, Isaac believed her when she told him she wasn't ashamed about her crush on Roderick. There was something in the way she said it like she was still trying to convince herself, but he still believed it. Believed that she was moving past it, and stronger for it, in that annoying storybook kind of way witches always thought there was something to be learned from heartbreak. "Done with Slytherin boys, you sure?" He asked suggestively, his head tilting to the side as he smirked at her. Sitting inside of the window sill, their faces were close enough that she might have seen his dark eyes flicker down to her lips, not that Isaac hid it in any way.

As they both asked nearly the same question, Isaac was surprised to hear her offer an answer so willingly, even if it was only a partial answer that gave him more problems. "What do you mean by a boyfriend?" The teenager asked, even though he was already pretty sure he knew. Magnolia seemed like the type who wanted someone to hold hands with in the hallways, sit with during Quidditch matches, and spend every waking moment making googly eyes. Fuck that, he couldn't help but silently sour at the idea of it. Not that this conversation had anything to do with him, Isaac reminded himself.

"Exactly what it sounds like," He told her, his head cocking back as he gave her a look. It wasn't a difficult concept to grasp, was it? Isaac Hackney didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend. And Isaac Hackney did not do anything he didn't want to. "I have never had an official girlfriend, and I do not plan to." Isaac turned, bringing one leg up onto the window sill and not apologizing as he brushed past her thigh. Leaning against the stone window casing, he watched her expression.

Magnolia gave him a look to demonstrate that she wasn’t pleased with the way she had phrased that question. Technically, the girl worried that she might never be able to get over Slytherin boys, after all it was becoming increasingly obvious that she had a type. “Yes, they’re all up to no good,” she reasoned with him, at least to Magnolia, that had been a valid enough explanation. “Anyway, I’ve decided to set my sights on a Hufflepuff this year,” she added with no intention of clarifying or further qualifying her statement. There had been no Hufflepuff boy and if there was, Magnolia figured they’d be significantly easier to ask out on a date.

“Uh…” she paused, not really sure how to add details to a concept that had seen so self-explanatory until now. “Like a guy you do stuff with, connect with, hold hands with,” she looked away from him, feeling a little odd to be sharing this but figuring that if she had asked such a question it only seemed fair to answer it when it came back around. “Or like take you to the movies, together, just the two of you,” she added, remembering how sweet she had thought it was when Killian had told her that he and Billie had (unintentionally) watched a movie together. The girl had never been to the movies before but figured it was something that she’d like to do with a boyfriend someday.

When he told her that he had never had a girlfriend before she didn’t believe it because she had assumed that he somehow meant no one had taken that sort of interest. Naturally, she had been mistaken. “What’s wrong with being in a relationship?” she asked, taking issue with the idea that he didn’t want one. It wasn’t really any of her business but the Gryffindor was nosy and wanted to know why. “You took Allison to that haunted house, that was a date, wasn’t it? So you’re not entirely opposed to the idea…” she added, almost as if she were reasoning with herself but more importantly because she wanted a clear explanation.

Isaac already knew the answer to his question, but he had asked it anyway, and Magnolia's response made him smirk. Of course, she thought those things about having a boyfriend. It was so fitting, really, an easy assumption. And a view he absolutely did not share. "Nothing is wrong with it," He said with a shrug, it wasn't that Isaac was against other people being in a relationship, he just didn't want that for himself. He barely liked having friends, it was too much to deal with some times, he couldn't imagine having a girlfriend expecting things from him. Especially not if it was someone like Magnolia, she would ask too much, he just knew it. "I just do not want to be in one, it is that simple,"

Scoffing when she brought up Allison, again, Isaac shook his head at her. "That was not really a date," He began, even though he could understand why she'd thought it was one, it really wasn't. "We just hang out, sometimes we go places, sometimes we make out, but we are not together." Isaac knew he wasn't even the only witch that Allison 'hung out' with, but he really didn't mind. They were each other's distraction, an escape, nothing more, nothing less. Allison had stopped asking for more some time ago, probably after he'd said something especially cruel to her, but Isaac didn't remember what.

"Which Hufflepuff?" He pried, needing to turn the conversation (one that she started, he reminded himself) back onto her.

“No teasing me and telling me how ridiculous I am?” she tried, eyeing him suspiciously when he didn’t have anything witty to say about how she might define the role of a boyfriend. The girl was enchanted with the idea of love and relationships even though she had never had one herself, so to hear that he didn’t think there was anything wrong with relationships made her feel a little relieved. Not that it matters what he thought about them, he wasn’t the relationship police, after all. For whatever reason, the girl had concluded that he’d feel too above that sort of thing as if it was one of those social constructs he went against just for the sake of being contrary.

Magnolia had grown so accustomed to the boy being so interested in nitpicking at what she said that when he didn’t do that, she started to replay the words in her head wondering where she had gone wrong. Isaac had a way with making her second guess herself that she didn’t care for but it was this unpredictability in his behavior that she also (and maybe regrettably) liked. But why not be in a relationship, she wondered but didn’t push further, maybe some girl had hurt him. Yes, Isaac seemed that type.

“Oh—“ she responded to his explanation on Allison because she wasn’t really sure she needed any more details than that. In fact, maybe he had said too much. Was it better that they were seeing each other casually or would it have been easier to understand if they were in a relationship? Either way, it seemed complicated to do things like that, almost felt uncharacteristically motivated by someone to just sort of being with someone half-way.

But then he took her by surprise again, asking her about the Hufflepuff she had in mind but not really knowing who exactly. Hufflepuffs just seemed like the nicest most honest of the four houses and probably the one with which she’d have the luckiest. “Uh…I don’t know yet,” she shrugged. “Figured I'd sort that out as the term went along," she stated plainly. But this conversation felt serious in a weird way, "Why you've got any suggestions?" she asked, giving him a playful smirk.

"Too obvious to tease," He countered, giving her a playful smile and leaning back against the window sill again. Isaac thought her views on relationships were silly, sure, but it wasn't like he was trying to change her mind about it either. Suppose she wanted a boyfriend, cool, who was he to get in her way. She barely responded to his explanation of the non-relationship he had with Allison, and Isaac wondered why. Normally she had so much to say about every little thing, but a quick 'oh' was all his words had warranted from her now. He was suspicious of it but didn't mention it. If they could move away from this topic, he wasn't going to fight it.

"Are you honestly asking me for advice?" Isaac said, clearing his throat, still not believing the rabbit hole they had slipped into. They were barely friends, well, maybe, but certainly not buddy buddies who talked about things like this. Mostly they just irritated each other; Nola always had some smart comment, Isaac had an insult, they bickered, they didn't give each other advice. Well, they didn't ask each other for advice. The pair of them were plenty skilled in the art of giving unsolicited advice.

Did he have any suggestions? Nope. Not only because other than Jae, he thought most Hufflepuff's were chumps, but also because he didn't want to suggest anyone to her.

"Am I that predictable?" she said with a small giggle, though it was a little embarassing to know that she was after all. Was it obvious to Isaac because he had given it thought? Probably not but it didn't keep the girl from letting her take those words and run with them. It wasn't a thought she was actively considering but Magnolia had wondered what Isaac would be like as boyfriend, if he would be those non-committal guys until he found the one or if he spent his free time breaking young hearts because he could. 

Though the life of a serial heartbreaker did not suit the girl whose entire romantic aesthetic was based on fiction and the words of her nicer, more innocent friends, it was interesting to think about how different things would be. At the risk of sounding self-deprecating, Magnolia didn't think many boys were particularly interested in her as much as they were in her friends. She was jealous of it and rightfully so but it didn't destroy her on a daily basis or anything. Not in the 'I'm going to die alone' type way but more in the 'I acknowledge my friends are prettier' way. Either way, the girl was constantly trying to make things happen for her friends.

"Right you are," she added, playing with her hair as she looked over at him expectantly, If you haven't any advice, just say so," she insisted shrugging it off like it didn't really matter. "Bet you and Duncan don't sit around in the Commons discussing crushes, yeah? Unless there is like a girl everyone pines for in which case, I must know," she teased though in reality, it was more making fun of herself. She waited a moment, "Killian suggested Jari once, he's a Trickett and quite nice too," she added but she wasn't really asking for his opinion as much as talking. 

Isaac pulled a face, and it was a mix of confusion and entertainment. She asked him for advice in earnest and could have easily tricked or manipulated her for it. It would have been simple, but for whatever reason, he chose to do something else instead. "There are so many Tricketts," He mused, not really commenting on her words so much as complaining about the number of them. "Their parents must really like to get it on," Isaac said backhandedly and shrugged.

Leaning further into the window, Isaac made himself comfortable, his hands crossed against his chest and watched Magnolia. "Tell me honestly," He began, giving her a moment to prepare for his question even though he had yet to ask it. "Do you want a boyfriend because of the title, or just because of the things you could do with your boyfriend?" His accented words were spoken quietly, but he made sure she heard each one of them.

"Because there is a middle ground," One eyebrow raised as he said it, hoping she would understand his meaning when he began to suggest she could have a wizard, and all of the things she wanted, without having to call him her boyfriend.

Magnolia felt slighted by the fact that he hadn’t fallen for her trap and given in to her nosiness. Who was the it girl according to the Slytherin house? A long time ago, she had heard a rumor that the boys in Slytherin had a running ranking system hidden behind one of the portraits in the house that would be voted on in a weekly basis. There was apparently one detailing every student’s conquests, too, but that was for upper-level eyes only. Although Magnolia knew she wouldn’t be in the latter list, she had always wondered if she’d be in the former one. If said ranking existed, of course.

But at least he had made a comment on the Tricketts and it had managed to make her laugh. “Well the gene pool works well in their favor, and there’s no better way to dominate a school than to have a lot of them,” she added in. Although she had spoken to Jari before, the witch didn’t really know many Tricketts. There was Shelby, though, and even if she didn’t have the signature blond hair, the girl was quite beautiful, too.

When he started the next question, however, she assumed he’d ask about whether she liked Jari or not, to which she wouldn’t have an answer to just yet. But instead, he asked her something much deeper than that, which made her mull on the topic for a bit. Just enough to think about how strange it was for them to be talking about relationships on her sixteenth birthday in this dark corridor. “I’m sixteen now so—feels like the right time?” she stated, though ended on a question and realized she didn’t know why. “I guess both, I adore my friends but you know…it’d be different with a boyfriend, guess I’d like the experience,” she shrugged, not sure how to explain something that had been so ingrained into her by societal expectation.

“You mean like you and Allison? So some boy’ll start talking about what a slag I am behind my back and hooking up with other girls? Sure I haven’t boys lined up waiting their turn to date me but I’ve got some self-respect,” she said after a moment, “I guess when I get desperate enough for a hookup I'll change my mind," she said with a cynical laugh. Maybe she would, though it didn't feel very likely.

"The right time?" Isaac repeated her, a laugh threatening to overtake his face, "You are sixteen, not forty, why settle?" To Isaac, any commitment was a death sentence. He didn't like the idea of promising he'd be at detention after dinner, let alone promising to spend every free moment with the same person for who knows how long. It was too confining, too final. The idea of a girlfriend was suffocating to the teenage wizard. He did not understand people like Magnolia. They could have all of those things, but without all of the nonsense and labels. And why not do all of those things with a different person every day? It would never get old; it would always be interesting.

Maybe he had been reading into everything she said, it wouldn't be the first time his assumptions raced ahead of him, but there was something about the way she said that she would 'like the experience' that caught Isaac's attention. It hung with him for a moment, and he began to wonder if she had done even less than she failed to pretend to have done. "Why not?" He asked while she went on about what would happen if she was in a non-relationship like he had with Allison. Not that Isaac thought she would ever go through with it in the first place, but that didn't mean he couldn't suggest it.

"Well, and no offense," Nothing good ever came after someone said 'no offense', and this would be no different. Isaac shifted a little as he spoke, wanting to keep eye contact with her. "You are sitting in a dark corridor, on your sixteenth birthday, asking quite literally the very last person at Hogwarts who would ever ask you out, for dating advice..." It wasn't because she wasn't pretty or exciting, or that he hadn't thought about kissing her, that Isaac would never date her. It had everything to do with the fact that the wizard didn't want to date anyone. A clarification that was lost between his thoughts and his sentences and Isaac didn't have the decency to offer more information.

"If that is not desperation, I do not know what is,"

“It’s not like I’m looking to get married, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting someone a little more serious than a hookup,” she insisted. Maybe had she had more experience these sorts of things wouldn’t have mattered as much? But the older she became, the more self-conscious she felt about what she hadn’t done and the only way to remedy that felt like having high standards about her life so that she could play it off as a non-conformity thing rather than what it felt like to her: a simple case of bad luck. Maybe her views were old-fashioned or whatever but at least she had views. Many of her classmates went for just about anything.

No matter how bitter of a pill to swallow that statement had been, at least she had gotten the answer she had been seeking: of course he wasn’t interested in her, apart from the secret she was keeping and the good laugh he got from poking fun at her, what else had she expected? The worst part about this sort of rejection, the unspecified type that had been given without her asking the question directly, is that she had to continue pretending that it did not sting at all.

Magnolia had taken her lie too far at that point, and any readjustment of the information previously given would just show him that her advice had been her way of testing the waters. A no was good enough, she did not need to give him another reason to joke about at her expense in front of his friends. Though she had already made assumptions that he’d go back and tell them anyway. That was her problem, always falling for the wrong people. Maybe Killian was right, maybe she’d have to look elsewhere.

“I guess,” she shrugged, “Either way, thanks for the advice,” she concluded, the smile on her face faltering just a little. Now he'd just add desperate to the list of less than stellar adjectives he referred to her with. Brilliant. Her sixteenth birthday wasn’t turning out as she had originally anticipated but maybe this sort of honesty was the type that would help her focus on other things. She paused for several moments, trying to move past it without thinking too much about it. Magnolia would have plenty of time to cry about it when she got back to her room, she could hold on a few more minutes. “So apart from wishing me happy birthday was there something else or…” she started vaguely, now feeling an incredible urge to leave, not sure how long she’d be able to keep this up, this whole pretending to be unfazed by everything around her.

The fact that she hadn't gotten angry about what he said about how he had no so nicely implied that she was desperate was confusing to Isaac. She got mad when he called her a square, but this she just accepted? It was strange and confusing, and he didn't know what to make of it. Maybe she truly was that desperate. “Either way, thanks for the advice,”, Isaac's eyebrows furrowed, but then he slowly nodded once. "Uh, yeah, you are welcome." Why did it seem like Magnolia always did the exact opposite of whatever he thought she would? It was aggravating and challenging.

Instead of yelling at him or looking hurt by his words, she just seemed to move right on past them. Isaac was still lost when she called him out on being there. He had nearly forgotten he had asked her to be there, especially with how she had commandeered the conversation for as long as she had. The unwrapped gift in his pocket had almost been forgotten entirely.

"Oh, right," He said as he slid off of the ledge to stand up straight. Digging into the front pocket of his black jeans, Isaac fished out the little package of buttons. He took one last look at them before sighing and holding them out to her. It was a dumb idea, but whatever, he was already here, and he hadn't spent that much on them, so what did he have to lose.

"Happy Birthday," He told her before feeling dumb for saying it out loud. Isaac doubted she would remember bringing up the album or that he hadn't known who they were at the time. He did now. After she took the package, he slipped both of his hands back into his pockets and waited for her to hate it.

Magnolia was befuddled by the fact that he was reaching into his pocket as if there was actually a reason further than just wishing her a happy birthday that had brought him here in the first place. And then he had produced a gift, a set of buttons, but she could not really get past the fact that he had gotten her something at all. It was not like they were friends (he’d made sure that it was clear to both of them) nor like she had expected him to get her something, much less remember her birthday or the band she had told him she liked.

In fact, she didn’t really know why he’d bother or when he had thought of it. She wanted details but could not outright ask for them. She was still trying to deal with the rejection she had gotten moments earlier and this just felt like he was mocking her. But just as she was starting to feel touched by the action, she reminded herself that he had called her desperate and said he’d never date her. Which in turn only made her conclude that all guys felt that way about her. And after that entire whirlwind of a process, the buttons felt more like a consolation prize rather than an actual gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she started, smiling a little as she looked at the buttons. “To be honest I didn’t think you’d even remember,” she added. At this point in their conversation, she had assumed there wasn’t anything remotely interesting or rememberable about her at all. “But thanks,” she added, taking the gift with both hands and looking down at it. She’d keep them somewhere safe, probably start pining them to her clothes when she had gotten over her short-lived crush.

“Now I feel like I should’ve gotten you something for your birthday,” she added, but it was more because this gift felt like more debt, something else she owed him for being nice to her. It confused her. "It's um...very thoughtful of you," she concluded only if to provoke him to tell her the real reason behind why he had gotten this in the first place.

As he passed the buttons her way, Isaac started to convince himself that getting her a gift was a dumb idea. He hadn't planned to, it wasn't the sort of thing he typically did, not even for his actual friends, but here he was. Isaac had been in Hogsmeade with the others when he came across the buttons. The little spinning display had different ones, magical bands with moving pictures, and even some muggle ones. And when he saw the Tragic Kingdom artwork, he thought of Magnolia. Before he realized what he was doing, he was buying them and not telling Allison what they were, or at least, that was how he remembered it. Isaac had considered just throwing them out afterward because that was better than her thinking it was a strange gift.

His eyes followed hers over the buttons as he waited for her to reject them, or to frown, or both. He figured she would hate it, but then she thanked him, and that actually felt... worse? Better and worse, all at once, but most of all, confusing. His eyes dipped down to his feet before shooting right back up to hers. Shrugging, Isaac played it cool, "Not a big deal," He told her casually and then shook his head. "Seriously, do not make a big deal out of this Magnolia," He warned her. The last thing that Isaac needed was Magnolia getting the wrong idea. She had already pretty much confirmed his conclusions about how clingy she could be, and he wasn't signing up for anything.

He said not to make a big deal out of it, and really the girl wanted to respect his wishes, but it was so hard to not read into the simple gift. If it did not mean anything, why hadn’t he given it to her earlier when they were in Herbology together? Didn’t meeting in secret like this mean something and if it did, what exactly? For a girl that allocated so much meaning to all aspects of her life, even to the people who had no wish to be in it, it was not a simple matter. But she would not go into so much detail. Instead, she smiled and nodded, "You seem to be making a big deal out of it, Hackney,” she said, his surname slipping right out, probably an aftermath of the bitterness she still felt for what he had told her earlier.

“I guess I’ll have to get you something for Christmas then,” she decided, “so that we’ll be even,” she added. It seemed that he was not going to give up the information that she wanted from him, which only made her more suspicious of it. Why were they meeting like this? She considered it again. Was it because he wanted to do something nice and his friends would have made fun of him for giving her a gift? That seemed like the likeliest of answers. And though they had had that discussion in the Hospital Wing about a week back when they both had come down with a head cold, it still hurt a little to think that he was so embarrassed to be seen with her.

It could not have been a house thing, she had seen him with Jae and Fiora plenty of times, but it felt like a Magnolia thing. She was not sure how she should have felt about that. At least that proved his whole you’re the last person I’d ever date or whatever he had said. “So…” she started again, feeling awkward for continuing the conversation but feeling that she needed to say something. “I’ve got curfew soon and if Killian catches me, he’ll probably give me detention.” she started, though she hoped Killian was not above helping her out if she needed him to overlook her lateness. But if he asked why, Magnolia might have hesitated to tell him the truth.

Isaac pretended not to notice she'd used his last name again, the informal insulting thing he typically did to her. Instead, he shrugged when she spoke about a holiday gift and continued to stare at the wall across from them. "It had better be a good one, then," Isaac replied. The teenager always felt awkward where gifts were concerned, giving them, getting them, neither of which were commonplace occasions. It seemed like she had liked the buttons, but honestly, he never really knew what Magnolia was thinking. It was part of her irritating charm.

Sliding off the ledge when she spoke again, Isaac looked out the window behind him. He hadn't realized how late it had gotten, but this late in November, it felt like the sun was always down. "Yeah," He commented, not adding anything to the conversation and nodded. Isaac slid his hands into the pockets of his slacks before nodding again. "Bet he lets you off." The Slytherin told her, giving the Gryffindor a knowing look, but he knew he wouldn't be so lucky. He'd gotten detention this week for far less than being outside a few minutes past curfews.

"Well, alright, see you later, then," Isaac spoke slowly, not really sure what to say now. He'd already told her happy birthday and given her a gift, and it wasn't like he was going to hug her or something, so standing there awkwardly seemed right for a few seconds. And then he turned around and headed toward the stairs and eventually into the dungeons.

[[/end]]