[gravesend] a half written story without any ending || isaac

Earlier when she had mentioned that this part looked right out of a movie, a part of her had been referring to them too; their relationship or whatever they were calling it becoming more involved, a secret that Magnolia had invested considerable time in creating. And when they were apart from the maddening crowd of friends, and expectations, and whatever other ridiculous rule she had thought up to ensure that they were not too careless, it felt perfect.

Even if he had been sort of firm when he had said that he was not interested in a girlfriend, Magnolia wanted to challenge that and knew that she could be convincing only when she wasn’t being observed, teased, or wrongly encouraged by other people. Magnolia wanted to do this on her own, but at the same time, felt out of her element, too. But, she had read enough romance novels and seen enough movies between the beginning of the month and now to sort of know that these were the moments that mattered.

This was the scene in which the boy and girl shared deep, personal things about themselves and they would bond over the implied secrecy of those words. Magnolia had proven herself trustworthy enough, she believed. She hadn’t really told her friends about their little secret meetings or the notes they passed in class or even the secret she had been entrusted with at the beginning of the term. But her question had not been met with information, instead, he retreated his hand and left her feeling utterly confused.

“What?” she asked, the end of her sentence rising in pitch as she looked up in his in confusion. They had been something only moments ago and now they were back at square one. What? she frowned a little, completely confused by what was going on. Instead of considering that there was something there he didn’t want to talk about, Magnolia immediately assumed that he didn’t want to tell her.
“So does this middle ground mean we can’t have like a conversation about your life? What kind of ridiculous shit is that?” she scoffed, already angry even though she hadn’t really given him the chance to explain herself, not had she asked for an explanation. Not in a nice way at least. “They’re just your parents, I’m not asking you about your deepest, darkest, Isaac, don’t be such a prick,” she added, the annoyance obvious in her voice. 

Isaac knew his sudden stop to their conversation might have been confusing, rude even, but the teenager didn't care. It was better that he hurt her feelings so that she would get off of this train of thought rather than risk telling her anything real about himself. The Slytherin didn't want to be mean to her, not really, but he picked selfishly between those two choices. Isaac would always choose the selfish option, it was just who he was, and he wouldn't pretend to be any different. He wasn't the good guy, he wasn't the kid bullying her on the playground because he liked her, which he did, but Isaac was not a nice person. He was self-absorbed, and he refused to tell her anything about his family.

"Just drop it, okay," Isaac warned, pulling his hand from the top of the seat and sliding an inch or two away from Magnolia. "I do not want to talk about it. Can you just fucking respect that and not be annoying about it?" The words came out quickly, like venom, and his brown eyes turned to bore holes into her's. She already knew more about his mum than he was comfortable with. He wasn't about to tell her shit about his deadbeat father. Not that there was much to tell, Isaac hadn't seen him in years, and it wasn't like he was trying to change that anytime soon. As lovely as it might have been to reconnect, Isaac wasn't the sort to forgive. He would never see his father again if he had his way, and he would die happy about it.

But why? The question remained and the implications lingered, ones that only led her to believe that he was being this way because his perspective of her had changed, and she couldn’t figure out at what point between standing outside waiting for the ferry and boarding it he had decided that having a conversation with her wasn’t worth his time. And until then she had shared so much about herself, had allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of him and he’d reduced her to this girl he;d lend his hoodie to but wouldn’t give basic information? It was one of the few times that the girl, so often driven by fantasy and the irrational, decided that there was nothing logical about what was going on here.

“Yeah, I get it,” she started, visibly upset by the entire situation, “You’re the person who gets to set the terms and I’m just sort of expected to follow along, aren’t I? I think you’re confusing me with Allison again, Isaac,” she added bitterly, “or whatever other girl you waste your time with,” she added, standing up suddenly, “Move,” she demanded, to walk over him and away. Magnolia needed some space, and though the weather wasn’t the sort anyone would want to be outside in willingly, standing outside was much better than sitting here talking to this wall of a human being.

In all honesty, she didn’t even want to know why she bothered with him even though it was blatantly obvious at this point.

Isaac knew she wouldn't just let it go, it was like she was hardwired to do the exact opposite of whatever would have made his life most comfortable, and it was so frustrating. Yes, he could have just told her his dad wasn't in the picture and left it at that. At least then she'd have some tiny nugget of information, enough to know why he didn't want to talk about it, but Isaac wasn't a giving person. He hadn't spoken about his father in years, and he wasn't about to start tonight. They were friendly, but that was taking whatever this almost friendship was further than the wizard was comfortable with.

Magnolia's words were harsh, but Isaac knew he deserved them; even if they pissed him off, he knew she would have something to fire back when he'd called her annoying and told her to stop. Magnolia never disappointed when it came to being aggravating. This unhealthy pattern they were falling into was becoming exhausting, and Isaac sighed when she pushed him out of the way to get up. He said nothing, watching her walk away, and felt his anger boiling over. "Fuck this," He said loud enough that the couple half-asleep three rows in front of him heard; he ignored their looks and stalked off to find Magnolia.

"Why can you never just do what I ask?" Isaac hissed as he found her on the deck. It was cold out here, and he was shivering before he even reached her. The cold night air mixed with the wind off the water, making it unbearable, but the tension between them was chillier. "It is not that fucking hard; you ask too many questions," Isaac wished it could be different. He would have gladly spent hours listening to her tell him about herself. Hell, he would even entertain stories about her friends, her nonsense horoscopes, or about music, anything really, as long as it wasn't about him.

Magnolia was not pleased that he had followed her out onto the deck. Wait, no, she was pretty pleased that he had actually come after her, it sort of felt like he cared even if he probably wouldn’t admit to it. This entire friendship was being built on a shoddy foundation, there were leaks everywhere and yet, all she could think about was how things would probably be a little better once they arrived at the dock and went to the diner or wherever else they planned to go. At this point, leaving didn’t really feel like much of an option, she had invested too much into this minimal return and now she was too intrigued to completely forget about it. It honestly annoyed her, how much she liked him and how much he knew that she did. The balance was tipping in his favor a lot lately and she couldn’t figure out how she might restore that balance.

“I ask too many questions, Isaac?” she frowned, turning to look at him, as she leaned against the railing. “Fifteen minutes ago you asked me if I was planning to go home with some bloke I just met and me asking about your parents is crossing the line?” she continued, trying to figure out a logical, more communicative way to explain herself instead of engaging him in another shouting match. This was Magnolia actually trying here but she sort of knew he’d just take it for granted. “Just forget I said anything, you want to be secretive, fine, sorry I bother to care,” she added, her shoulders falling as she sighed, in defeat.

“Stop playing games with me, Isaac,” she continued. But expressing this sentence, something that seemed to encompass everything she had been feeling in the last three months made her feel vulnerable. And so she turned away from him, not wanting to take this conversation any further and do or say anything stupid. Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the railing, she distracted herself by trying to make sense of the light that she noticed in the distance. Were they almost there? She wondered because it almost felt like she couldn’t get away from this tense situation quickly enough.

The teenager stood silently for what felt like an eternity—folding his arms across his chest angrily and in a futile effort not to freeze to death on the deck of the ferry in the middle of winter with nothing but a t-shirt on. He mulled over what she had said—picking apart every word, taking things in and out of context, and creating little counter-arguments in his mind. He felt like he could argue every single something that she had said but to what end? He wasn't going to give her more information, and he wasn't going to apologize. He knew she wouldn't either. That wasn't their style. And he still felt entirely valid asking about her plans (or lack of) for the night. Accusing her and avoiding judgment in one fell swoop was his thing. If there were a gold star for hypocrisy Isaac would be rich with them.

Stop playing games? He hated that she thought that was all he was doing. Like everything he said was some trick, and he felt nothing for her. It wasn't like he worked incredibly hard to prove her wrong, but still, he hated it. Isaac opened his mouth to speak a few times, but ultimately he remained quiet. Five minutes must have gone by, a quarter of the entire ride to Tilbury, before he finally said something. His lips were nearly blue now, and he was shivering, but he approached the railing of the ferry anyway. "That is not my intention," He told her honestly, feeling like there was no right way out of this. If he said nothing, she would be mad, if he said something, it would be the wrong thing, and they would still fight. It was relentless.

"I just do not want to talk about my family; it has nothing to do with you," Couldn't she understand that? Isaac sighed. It wasn't a difficult concept to him, but he also hadn't explained a damn thing to her, so his assumptions that she should have just understood were way off base.

If his silence was supposed to be comforting, it was failing. The two of them had spent so much time orbiting around each other in the last few months that standing there and not talking to him about something, anything felt even more uncomfortable than any of the things they had said to one another. It never felt like she had the upper hand with him at all, but rather, that she was always trying to play catch up to his emotions.

 But this brooding silence was not something that she was used to; that whole reading in between the lines part of a conversation had always been a skill that Magnolia lacked. Her group of friends were equal parts loud and expressive, even the one quieter member of the group was ten times more expressive than Isaac, and that was saying a lot considering that she was a Ravenclaw.

By the time he finally spoke to her again, Magnolia had sort of resorted to the idea that he would find a way to go home once they got to the other side and she’d have to figure out a way to go home on her own. It wasn’t like she had any muggle money on her nor had she the means to get it. And if she thought about it, it wouldn’t the first time he had sort of stranded her and left her to her own devices.
Of course, that was right outside the gates to the castle but the situation felt just about the same here. Maybe she would just have to rely on the kindness of a stranger or walk the long way around, there would probably be a bridge eventually, though in this fog who knew how far away it would be.

However, she had not expected him to speak so honestly, and whether he was faking it or not, she fell for it right away. “Alright,” she said decisively, “ you could’ve just said that in the first place,” she added after a beat, but at this point, she was mostly annoyed because they had been perfectly comfortable on the inside of the ferry, all wrapped up in their little universe and he had ruined it. Why did Isaac have to always ruin everything? Whatever, she was over it.

“I guess the ferry’s not that bad,” she said after a moment, eager to change the topic of conversation, “though it also kinda makes me want to throw up, is that like a thing with muggle transport? Like a hex to keep you inside and seated or something?” she wondered. No one had come over to tell them that they couldn’t stand there but muggles were strange sometimes. 

Isaac almost instantly regretted saying anything. Like if he gave her an inch, she'd drag him down with that rope. He frowned, waiting for her to spew some more nonsense that would no doubt piss him off even more, but it never came. Instead, she just... agreed? "What?" He said before his brain caught up with his words. Shutting his mouth quickly, he knew better than to ask. If she were going to give him this one, he'd take it; he was so done with the constant back and forth tonight. And it seemed like maybe she was too.

His mind was still reeling about the near argument, the bitter cold, and the fact that she had let it go, that he boomed with laughter when she asked about the boat. "There is no warding on the ferry, Magnolia," He told her between laughs like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. "Your just seasick. It will pass soon," Isaac continued to chuckle, one hand moving to hold his side as he shook. "If the muggles want you to stay put, they have these things called seatbelts; they are fucking annoying though," Isaac hated the way the awkward material scratched his neck when he sat; he had no idea he was wearing them wrong, though.

As the boat approached the other dock, he could see the flickering lamp that barely lit the sign. It was a far cry from its counterpart in Gravesend. A little bit run down, coffered in graffiti, and very dimly lit. "The diner is not far from here," He told her as more people surfaced on the decks and prepared to disembark.

Magnolia heard the question but chose to ignore it, knowing that the more she explained herself the stupider she would feel for expressing all of these feelings that he wasn’t interested in reciprocating. She could do casual, she reminded herself, and if that meant that she ought to keep personal things to herself and stop poking her nose into his business then she’d do just that. Maybe it was for the best, maybe he was (in a very twisted way) helping her by setting boundaries so that she wouldn’t get confused about what their relationship was. So (in another very twisted way) her ignoring his need for clarification felt like a response, or better yet, a thank you for reminding me.

“Ah,” she groaned with much unhappiness, resting her head on her arms and hoping that it would somehow make it a little better. Imagine how embarrassing that would be, and to think it wasn’t a ward. Her idea was much better than whatever this stupid seasickness was supposed to be. “I know what seatbelts are,” she retorted, though there wasn’t any argument in her voice, “I’m not like completely dim,” she started, looking over at him for a second before she laughed, “surprise, surprise,” she added. He had made it clear in the past that she was a square; it would not have surprised her if he thought her dumb, too. And she was.

As soon as the boat docked, she straightened up, relieved that it wasn’t going to go on any longer than it had. She was curious about this place never having gone before, and so she took everything in, looking from one side to the next, trying to figure out what the place was like even if she wouldn’t get a complete picture in all this fog. “Looks pretty cool,” she decided, “alternative,” she added. It looked a bit grungy, too, but who was she to judge.

Seeing her hanging onto the railing made Isaac's laughter dry up a little, but only a little. Her witchy thoughts still amused him, but he didn't want to laugh at her when she might actually get sick. And this time, he didn't think she was faking it. "No one said you were," Isaac had called her plenty of names since they had started talking. Square, lame, annoying, he'd almost even called her a bitch, but never stupid. He just didn't think that she was. If anything, she was far more intelligent than anyone else he knew, way more than his friends anyway.

The ferry pulled in, and Isaac slid his hands into his pockets as they followed the tiny group of muggles off of the boat and onto the dock. The tar pavement of the parking lot outside the pier was full of potholes and discarded beer bottles, and Isaac kicked one of the cans as they walked. "Alternative?" He repeated, smirking at her choice of adjectives, "Whatever you say," He lead her out of the parking lot and up the winding road that led to the World's End and also the tiny town he was forced to call home.

"Mind if we stop somewhere first?" Isaac asked her even though he was already leading them past the side street that led to the restaurant and toward the apartment building. On a holiday, his mum was almost certainly working a double this time of night, but Isaac wasn't as worried about his mum seeing Magnolia as he was Nola seeing where he lived. It was a tough choice, to bring her home and deal with whatever judgment she might have had, but at the same time, Isaac liked his extremities attached, and he was pretty sure they wouldn't last much longer without a jacket. "Just a quick stop; it is fucking cold," He barely explained as they walked toward the flats.

Magnolia was not entirely convinced when he alluded to no one thinking she was dumb, though she could assume from that sentence that he was talking about himself specifically. At least one of his friends thought that she was practically brainless, the girl had said it herself a couple of months ago and it wasn’t the sort of insult someone just forgot. But the Gryffindor let it go, she wasn’t going to try to prove otherwise. Her goal in life had never been to be the brightest witch at Hogwarts but had it been something she was invested in, she was sure that she would be at the top of her class. Magnolia had the determination and in the grand scheme of things, it always boiled down to how hard were you willing to try to get what you wanted. Sounded like something she’d inherited from her father, now that she gave it a little more thought.

The sound of him kicking the bottle across the pavement surprised her, but only enough for her to take a look. Sure it wasn’t as fancy as Gravesend was, all lined up with little boutique shops and fancy houses, but it was a town where people lived in, and most importantly, it was a place that mattered to Isaac. That’s why he had bothered to bring her across the river, hadn’t he? She smiled at him, “Well not in a bad way,” she qualified, because she hadn’t meant it with ill-will, and she hoped he wouldn’t have taken it that way. With Isaac one never knew; he had shrugged off some of her more offensive insults before only to turn around and become angered by insignificant, innocent little questions.

“Hm?” she looked at him again, picking up the pace as he led through a more suspect part of the town, and she wondered what was on this side that he needed to get. “Yeah sure, lead the way,” she added, the last part said with a little sarcasm since he was always taking them in that direction. “You know someone that lives out here?” she suggested, wondering if they were heading to a friend’s house considering they were in the middle of what looked like a complex of apartments.

She said to lead the way, but Isaac smirked because he already was. Even if she said no, he would have probably still brought them here because he needed a jacket. And because once he got his mind on something, he rarely changed it. Isaac needed that level of control, always. "Good because we are here," He said smugly, reaching into his pocket to get the small set of keys out. There were only three keys, one for the door, one for the apartment, and one for the storage unit out back assigned to them. No keychains, nothing personal, even the clip that held it all together was bare steel and nothing interesting to look at.

The teenager slid the key into the front door lock, using his foot and then the full force of his hip, to get the uneven door to finally open. "Yeah, me," He told her as the door slammed against the wall behind it, adding to the already well-formed indent from the knob. He thought about telling her to wait downstairs, but the idea of leaving her alone in the shithole lobby of this place made him rethink it quickly. "This way," He told her as they passed someone passed out on the landing. Isaac reached for her hand as he stepped over the man and climbed the stairs quickly. His flat was on the second floor, and soon enough, they were in front of 2B. Unlocking the door and pulling Magnolia inside, Isaac threw the keys in the dish.

He spun around as he let go of her hand, turned on a light switch, and locked all three of the chains on the apartment door. "I am going to grab a jacket," Turning back to her, Isaac suddenly wondered what she would think about the peeling wallpaper or the dishes piled up in the sink. Just because his mum cleaned up her house didn't mean she was neat at home. Isaac never ate here, but the clarification seemed pointless, so he didn't mention it. Instead, he gave her a look before he spoke. "Keep your nose to yourself," Isaac raised an eyebrow at her as he disappeared into the first room off of the kitchen.

Oh, she thought to herself, taking in the new environment piece by piece so that when the realization finally dawned on her, it took her several moments to really understand the implications. Wait, what? her eyes widened only a little. Now, this was entirely unexpected and though she had many feelings about the entire thing, she couldn’t quite put them into words. On one hand, it was a nice little view into who he was but why would he make a fuss when she asked about his parents if he intended to bring her to his flat anyway? None of his actions made any sense and it was difficult for her to keep up with his actions and all of their heavy implications.

As the lights turned on she came across another possible interpretation of his actions. Had this been his intention all along? While she had technically agreed to keep things casual she didn’t think they’d move in this direction so quickly? And why wasn’t his mum home anyway? Wasn’t it like three in the morning or something ridiculous like that? Of course, the stresses of her thoughts and the way that her heart raced along with her imagination came to a halt when he noted that he was there to get a jacket. “Oh…” she said out loud, feeling a little silly for letting her thoughts go crazy (well she was sixteen, after all) when it all chalked up to sensibility. She took a step forward, playing with the zipper of his hoodie before slowly unzipping it, “Uh…you can have this back if you want…” she offered, but wasn’t really making a move to take it off either. But she sort of felt bad, he must have really been cold if he was willing to take that risk of bringing her into his space.

“I’m not that nosy,” she replied, though yes she was quite nosy, so to avoid making him upset by inserting herself into his family’s business, she followed him into what she assumed was his room. “Anything I ought to watch out for? Any dangerous areas?” she teased with a laugh, though she was only half-joking. A boy’s room was sort of like a mythical place, one she had never seen herself but had heard many tales about, the last thing she needed was to run into some of the darker things she had heard guys got up to in their free time. But his didn’t look weird at all, in fact, it actually looked lived in which was a nice change to her ridiculously immaculate house. Magnolia had always been the type that thought making the bed was silly if you intended to get back into it anyway sorts, and apparently, her family didn’t care for that behavior.

In order to keep out of the way, she moved to sit on the bed, pushing some of the blankets out of the way and hoping her dress wouldn’t leave glitter all over his sheets but if it did, so be it. Noticing his books, she laughed, reaching to pick one up, “Oh wow, you actually read like for fun? Fascinating,” she teased.

Bringing her to his flat had been so far out of the possible outcomes that Isaac had never really even considered it. Not until she was here, standing in the middle of the kitchen, did it become real. The teenager tried to pretend like it wasn't insanely personal, her being here, but as she followed him to his room, that became more and more difficult. None of his friends had been here, they were all from London, and they weren't the type to hang out at home. "Dangerous places?" Isaac shook his head but didn't stop as he opened the door to his bedroom and stepped inside.

It was cramped, the mattress shoved up against one corner, the crowded dresser against the other. There were clothes and nonsense piled up by the closet, the doors of which had broken some time ago and were now always in a half-open/half stuck shut position. It was unbelievably weird to have Magnolia, of all people, in his room. And now that she was sitting on his bed in that glittery short dress, Isaac had to force himself not to stare. She began rifling through his book collection turned nightstand, but he couldn't focus on anything but how cute she looked sitting there in his hoodie. Something about the image of her sitting on his bed made the teenage boy a little crazy. And not in the moody, angry way she usually set him off.

"Are you surprised by that?" Isaac asked as he moved to find a sweater. Standing in the small space between the dresser and the bed, Isaac's jeans brushed up against her legs, and he didn't try to avoid it. Instead, he pulled open the top drawer and started pushing things around until he found another black hoodie. It was sort of like the one she had on but had some wizarding logo on the front. Shutting the drawer, Isaac half turned around and sat on the bed next to her. "Do you want that one or this one?" He asked, holding it up so that she could pick first.

Magnolia moved back onto the bed when his legs brushed against hers, in a poor attempt to give him more space, but with her ankle boots still on, there was only so much she could move without risking putting her shoes on the bed. Either way, he hadn’t seemed to mind her being in the way or if he had, he said nothing on the matter.

It was so strange to be in his personal space and still feel like she knew nothing about him. And now, in this room, surrounded by all of these pieces of his identity, she wasn’t sure where to begin. His book collection seemed like a safe start but as she leafed through the thick novel and glanced up at the boy as he shuffled through his drawer, it seemed surreal.

Was this really the same person? “A little,” she said after a beat, “I get that you’re good at school but when you read novels…like for entertainment, that’s verging into nerd territory,” she teased, but Magnolia was only half-joking The Gryffindor’s social life was too involved for things like long leisurely reading but that didn’t mean she didn’t find the whole idea romantic. In fact, she was rather impressed by the gap between the personality he projected in school and the one that she was learning about.

It made her want to know what else there was hidden under all of those layers of arrogance and rebellion. It was dangerous territory, the whole trying to get to know him on a more personal level, but her curiosity had peaked from the moment of their encounter on the train and since then, Magnolia had had a difficult time convincing herself otherwise.

When he sat down next to her she put the novel down, turning towards him before laughing a little at the absurdity of the entire situation. Never in a million years did she expect herself to be sitting in the room of Isaac Hackney, what a strange world this was. “Oh, you actually did mean to come in for a jacket,” she noted, though it was something that had been confirmed when he started looking through his drawers. “One hundred percent did not expect that,” she added, before bringing her hands up in apology, “no offense or anything,” she added though she figured that wouldn’t change what she had just said.

In theory, she wouldn’t have immediately said no to the alternative scenarios in her head but realistically, Magnolia felt that it was impossible to set boundaries unless they were tested. That didn’t matter for now (or never? She was still confused about their relationship status). Instead of dwelling on it, she took a look at the hoodie that she was wearing, then at the one in his hand before decisively slipping the one on her off, “That one,” she tugged on it, taking it out of his hand. “You’re not expecting it back, are you?” she joked, but really, she was not going to give him back whatever hoodie she walked out of his flat wearing, for sentimental purposes, of course.