here we are at the end of the road | winifred

7th year party
Friday, June 18th, 2004

Andronicus had spent the last week making sure Ben and the rest of the team would be alright without him, and though the Quidditch captain wasn't quite ready to pass the gauntlet and put away his Slytherin team robes, he was excited for what happened next. And he had the feeling he'd be back to watch the matches next term because that was still cool, right? Andronicus was enthusiastic about breaking free from Hogwarts and finally getting to make his own choices. He wasn't going to do what his parents had designed, he was free, and it was exhilarating. The Slytherin had done well enough on his N.E.W.T.s, he had an internship lined up, and he had the best girlfriend a wizard could ask for. Andronicus felt like he was on top of the world; it was quixotic.

A bunch of seventh-years had decided to get together for one last hoorah, and Andronicus wouldn't have missed it. In an abandoned classroom off one of the less-traveled corridors, the group of almost adults gathered. It was getting later, but they had plenty of time before curfew kicked in. And the next day, they were on the train back to King's Cross anyways, so consequences seemed far less severe. A Ravenclaw had brought a set of wizard's playing cards, a Hufflepuff brought snacks, a Slytherin set up the music, and a Gryffindor provided the contraband. Andronicus had been there for about half an hour before he finally broke free from the little game of Bone-Ace and began to make his way around the room. Andy stopped here and there, laughing about old jokes, remembering the good times and the bad, it was starting to settle that this was his last night at Hogwarts, and Andronicus felt a mix of emotions.

He'd moved away from another crowd, intent on getting snacks for distraction, when he saw Winifred. In some ways, Winifred had become a sort of icon for Andronicus's journey, and he had nothing but appreciation for her. Six years ago, he'd been awful to her, and it had taken their entire Hogwarts career, but finally, Andronicus felt like he had redeemed himself. If not for Winifred's help with his resume, Andy knew he might not have landed an internship at the broom shop. It felt dramatic to say, but everything about tonight was a lot heavier than average, and Andronicus was pretty sure the girl who once haunted his past had saved his future, and he wanted to thank her.

"Hey, Winifred," he said as he walked toward her, a dimpled smile blessing his cheeks. "How are you doing?" It was a loaded question; he could see the hint of redness around her eyes. "It's so strange to think we're leaving tomorrow. It almost doesn't feel real, you know?"

@Winifred Gwartney

Seven years. Seven freaking years. And now it was almost over.

Wini had, predictably, been a mess all day today. The leaving dinner was tonight and tomorrow she and Marin and Lip would be riding the boats back, taking the opposite path they had as first years. She wasn't sure what exactly it was about leaving Hogwarts that was making her so emotional, but her eyes had taken on a red-rimmed look for the past week and she was never too far away from some tissues. Perhaps it was such a final ending to the chapter of her life that had really shown her who she was. Or maybe it was because she knew that she could never return to Hogwarts, not in the same way it was now. Or maybe it was because the next chapter of her life seemed so uncertain and unknown and the present moment felt comfortable.

Maybe it was because she didn't want right now to end. Being surrounded by friends she loved, classes she was mostly good at with prefect duties that gave her a small dose of power but not enough to go to her head. It was like she had finally topped the world and now the universe was shoving her back off to the bottom.

Needless to say, she was a wreck, but desperately trying to enjoy every last moment. And that's why she had helped Belinda and Magnus from Ravenclaw plan all of this. She had brought the snacks and helped spread the word, Belinda and Magnus had done their parts too and she was happy that most of the seventh years had showed at some point or another. She tried not to think that this might be the last time they were all here together in one place, but of course failed in that and almost got misty-eyed all over again.

She had pulled away from Belinda, needing something sweet to help her get through such an emotional day, when she turned hearing her name. "Hi Andy," she said with a smile, which turned watery as he asked after her. "Oh, hanging in there, you know," she said with a flap of her hand. Yes, she knew it was ridiculous to be this emotional but she couldn't help it. But she gave him a nod and a shrug. "Yeah, it feels like it all happened too quick. Weren't we just in the train getting here yesterday?" she attempted a joke, remembering how excited she had been to start her seventh and final year as top dogs at Hogwarts. Now it all seemed so final, too final.

"How are you with everything? Ready to get out of here?" she asked, mentioning a sentiment that she heard more from the boys. Or at least one grumpy Ravenclaw in particular.

Andronicus chuckled over the brim of his cup, and the smell of the alcohol inside tickled at his nose. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” he said, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve and shrugging. “Sometimes it feels as though we have been here our entire lives, but also just the blink of an eye….” He took another sip, careful not to let the bubbles reach his nose this time, and swallowed slowly. “Though, I suppose both of those things are true.” At age seventeen, Andronicus felt like he was on the precipice of something he couldn’t understand. He simultaneously felt young and old, they were the seniors of Hogwarts, but they were about to step out into the world brand new. It was a strange feeling, and he was already nostalgic for something he hadn’t entirely lost yet.

Winifred seemed like she was holding it together as best she could, and the Slytherin felt like he could relate. He assumed most of their class could, especially now that they had mixed such a bittersweet night with butterbeer and dragon whiskey. Soon enough, alcohol, memories, and tears would be flowing about the room in equal measure.

“Not entirely,” he answered with a shrug, Andronicus had two very different paths laid out for him, and while he knew he was lucky to have options, sometimes the decision felt more like a burden. Winifred was one of the few witches in the school who knew he’d applied for an internship in a broom-making shop because she had helped him with the application. And even though Andronicus didn’t think he deserved her help, he was thankful for it. “I got the job, by the way,” The Slytherin added and waited the appropriate amount of time before continuing. “I could start the week after graduation if I wanted.” The words felt like lead coming from his mouth, if I wanted, because it was all that he wanted, but there was more to it than that.

“Haven’t told my parents yet, though,”

She nodded as he put words to exactly how she was feeling. Like they'd been born at Hogwarts or something, nothing before or after their time here, and yet she knew there was so much beyond Hogwarts too. It was overwhelming. She half-turned toward the table laden with snacks and sweets and treats they had gathered or swiped from the kitchens, choosing a cupcake with a lopsided twirl of yellow frosting on top with a lower case i written across it. Someone had decorated the cupcakes with colors from each of the houses and some of the letters were missing but she could guess it had spelled out 'Congrats!' at one point. Merlin, even cupcakes were making her weepy.

And oh wait, it wasn't an i, it was an exclamation point. It suited her, she thought. She wasn't sure exactly what emotion she was feeling in the moment because they were all sort of crowding in on her, but they were all strong enough to need exclamations points with them. Andy seemed to be normal enough through all of this though.

She gave him a smile and a nod. "Yeah, got a timeturner I can borrow? We can go back to the beginning and do it all over?" Wini attempted at a joke, but that just brought up memories of their first year. And.. yeah she'd rather not relive that all over again. She hated thinking about it even now. She pulled back the paper off the cupcake and bit into it, wiping some of the frosting off her top lip as the sweetness burst over her tongue.

Her brows rose just a fraction at his answer, surprised a bit. Many of the boys she knew were ready to get out of school and start down whatever path they had decided on, adulthood gleaming and shiny, she supposed. She was not quite as excited and it seemed Andy was the same and she wanted to know why.

"You did?" she asked instead, surprised at the news, a smile spreading across her face, happy for him. "Congrats, that's so exciting!" Wini added, reaching out a hand to squeeze his forearm before her cupcake almost took a header to the floor and she caught it, licking the frosting off her fingers. "Next week? That's so soon! Are you ready? Wait, 'if' you wanted? Are you.. not going to take it?" Her questions came out in a string as usual before the meaning of his words hit her.

Her smile lost some of its brightness as her brows pulled together. "And they wouldn't.. like it?" she asked, trying to understand. She didn't know much about his family other than they were pureblood, ridiculously rich, and all had great hair of course.

Laughing lightly, Andronicus gave Winifred a slight shake of his head. Even though he knew she was kidding, Andy couldn’t help but wonder if he’d turned the dial on a time-turner if he did have one. On the one hand, the wizard was excited about what happened next, but on the other, he was terrified of leaving Hogwarts. And every second he spent in the days leading up to their final night just reminded him of that fear. That in a few days, everything would be different, and he’d never really come back here. Sure, maybe he’d come to see the boys play next term, but it would never be the same. Every action for the next few days was likely going to be the “last time he did [insert]…” and it was a daunting idea.

“I wish,” he teased and finished what was in his cup with a quiet gulp. Maybe he’d turn back the clock and do some things over again, but in reality, Andronicus never wanted to be the person he was when they’d started Hogwarts. And he assumed Winifred felt the same way on the subject, not that he blamed her.

The need to tell her about his internship had been strangely powerful, and Andronicus couldn’t help but beam at her when she congratulated him. It was more than just because she’d helped him or because of their past, and Andy knew it had a lot to do with the fact that he could tell her congratulations was real. She didn’t have any stake in his future, so when she said it was exciting, Andy trusted that she was honest and not just saying what was appropriate. “Thanks,” he said, appropriately, and his smile flickered like a candle burning out.

“Yeah, something like that,” He began and suddenly wondered if she wanted to know all his family business or if he had already taken up too much of her time. “Do you want a drink?” He asked instead and motioned toward the table with snacks. Andronicus took two steps backward toward the bowl of whatever they were serving and began to refill his cup as he spoke. “It’s just that I am supposed to go to work in the family business,” He turned toward her, waiting to fill up another cup if she wanted one, and continued. “And I think it’s going to be a surprise if I do anything else.”

That was putting it lightly, but Andronicus didn’t want to bring down the mood anymore by explaining that he either had to choose his family or be practically disowned upon graduation. Considering how his family was, disownment probably would have been the best thing for his immortal soul, but Andronicus was also confused about that. He disagreed with his family, but they were still his family, which counted for something, right?

"Yeah, it would be nice, wouldn't it," Wini mused with a similar sentimentality to her voice as she picked at the wrapping around her cupcake. Leaving put everything into perspective and there was this wistfulness inside her that wished she could go back and do everything all over again so she could appropriately appreciate all the good memories.

She was finding it inordinately difficult knowing she could never come back to this place, this time, as it was, right now with all of these people she had grown up with. Even if she came back to Hogwarts, it would never be the same, it would never feel like this in this moment. And that was something she was mourning already.

Andy seemed to have things going for him and she was excited about it. That feeling was quickly replaced with concern as she watched his expression fall. "Oh sure," she said easily as he asked about drinks and she followed him as he spoke, glancing up at him over the rim of her cup. The family business. "Potions, right?" she asked.

Merlin, at least she hadn't been born a Lovecraft. What a failure she would've been to the family line and heritage then with her absolute lack of any natural talent in that subject.

Wini frowned as he laid out his concerns. "You didn't tell them you were applying for the internship?" she asked gently, no judgement, wondering how he kept that kind of stuff from his parents. If she was excited about something, it was pretty easy to tell because she wouldn't shut up about it and William was kind enough to be a good listener. Maybe he wasn't as lucky in that department. She had a sudden urge to know what his parents were like. "So it might be tough to tell them about it?" she guessed, as she thought about what she might do in his shoes.

"Yeah, potions," Andronicus heard his father's voice in the back of his head, urging him to explain that the Lovecraft Apothecaries and Spas were soooo much more than your run-of-the-mill potions shop, but he refrained. Andy didn't care about the excellence and upper echelon sales pitch he'd memorized since he was twelve, and he didn't care about offering Winifred a once-in-a-lifetime chance at world-renowned pampering. He just wanted to craft broomsticks.

"I... did not..." Andronicus knew he should have told his parents about what he had been considering after Hogwarts, that it was the mature and responsible thing to do, but he hadn't. As much as he wanted to be, Andronicus wasn't an adult yet, and he wasn't ready to own up to his dreams. He knew his parents would hate the idea, they might even dismiss it before giving him a chance to explain, and he didn't want to argue.

As terrible as it was, Andy kind of just wanted to do it and not tell them, and maybe disappear for a while, like his older sister Eleanora had done. Only he knew he wouldn't do that either. Eventually, he'd have to tell them. And with graduation looming, that eventuality was coming sooner than ever.

Andronicus shrugged at her, and then nodded, and then shrugged again. The epitome of indecision and a twinge of guilt, Andy was a bit lost. "I should have told them, but I just never found the right way... I suppose." He took a sip from his glass, glad Winifred had been on the planning committee and that it tasted good, not rotten, or like someone had spiked it with a potion. "I know what they will forbid it, and I don't want to go against them." But I will if they make me. Andy didn't voice the last part, but something about the fire in his usually bright eyes probably explained it enough.